Communication Quiz: Are You a Great Communicator?

Communication, which occupies approximately 70% of our waking hours, is what many leaders find the most frustrating. The fact is most of us were never taught how to communicate in a way that produces desired results, so we continue to experience frustration, resistance, conflicts, or breakdowns. Think of a recent important conversation. How many of these questions can you answer YES to?

  • Did I taking full responsibility for the message being heard by the other person? (Remember, it doesn't matter what you say, it only matters what the other person hears.)
  • Did I respect the other person's point of view? (Did I have a reaction to what they were saying that prevented me from listening to their full message?)
  • Did the other person feel heard and understood? (Did I acknowledge them?)
  • If I was asking someone to take a specific action, did I make my request clear?
  • Was I speaking in a way the other person can understand? (Speaking in their communication style.)
  • Was I communicating openly, without prejudices, expectations and judgment? (Was I focused on having to be right or hearing their point of view?)
  • Did the other person leave the conversation feeling good ? with some value?
  • Did I leave the conversation feeling good ? with some value?
  • Did I follow-up to see if the conversation was successful ? it led to the desired results?
  • If the outcome of the conversation did not meet my expectations, did I learn what I could improve upon to better communicate with that particular person?
  • So how did you score?
    8-10 Yeses indicate you're the tops. Keep up the good work.
    4-7 Yeses is OK. Brush up in certain areas.
    0-3 means you have work to do.
    Here are four ways to be a better communicator and leader:

    Talk less and hear more.
    We want to be heard and listened to but we don't always concentrate on listening to others. We focus more on our agenda than on the other person's thoughts, concerns or issues.

    Don't assume others are mind readers.
    We want some kind of action or response from another person. However, we don't let them know what we really want or how to achieve it. Before assuming the other knows what you want, first inform and then ask for feedback. Take the time upfront to get better mileage later on.

    Don't shot the messenger.
    We want to understand but our ability to understand is tainted by our perceptions of the person speaking or the outcome we are looking to achieve. So, we often pass judgment on the speaker and disregard the message. Concentrate on the message not the messenger.

    Join forces.
    We want acceptance and agreement from others, so much so, that we often become consumed with having to be right or proving our point. We push and push our agenda. Rather, stop, look and listen for areas of mutual agreement. Then work from there to co-create a greater outcome together.

    The next time you are involved in an important conversation pause your mental and verbal tape player for a moment. Then start really listening. It's amazing what you will discover. Perhaps information that can lead to your leadership and business success.

    Marcia Zidle, the 'people smarts' coach, works with business leaders to quickly solve their people management headaches so they can concentrate on their #1 job ­ to grow and increase profits. She offers free help through Leadership Briefing, a weekly e-newsletter with practical tips on leadership style, employee motivation, recruitment and retention and relationship management. Subscribe by going to http://leadershiphooks.com/ and get the bonus report "61 Leadership Time Savers and Life Savers". Marcia is the author of the What Really Works Handbooks ­ resources for managers on the front line and the Power-by-the-Hour programs ­ fast, convenient, real life, affordable courses for leadership and staff development. She is available for media interviews, conference presentations and panel discussions on the hottest issues affecting the workplace today. Contact Marcia at 800-971-7619.

    In The News:

    table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.11alive.com/news/local/story.aspx%3Fstoryid%3D122394%26catid%3D3cid=1258181150ei=H5b2SOKvD4mE6QPAx8yTCQusg=AFQjCNHbxWfj-731JO4jZFnd3Go15E_FCgStone Mountain Announces Snow Park bAttraction/b Return/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fWXIA-TV,nbsp;GAnbsp;-/font nobr7 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1The Snow Mountain battraction/b was set to debut in 2007, but park officials scrapped plans due to the major drought across North Georgia. b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.wtvm.com/Global/story.asp%3FS%3D9181166cid=1258181150ei=H5b2SOKvD4mE6QPAx8yTCQusg=AFQjCNEvytkhZp8XMTXW9LIgneKV9K8NZgPark to bring back Snow Mountain despite dry year/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrWTVM/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1258181150hl=ennobrall 7 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
    table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/10/13/AR2008101302395.htmlcid=0ei=H5b2SOKvD4mE6QPAx8yTCQusg=AFQjCNGlyhcN4hDAVrIkZExz3wxzjLQKeAbAttraction/b of Annuities Is in the Eye of the Beholder/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fWashington Post,nbsp;United Statesnbsp;-/font nobr13 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1By Mark Henricks For most people, annuities are as much of a mystery as commodities options. But those who do know what they are tend either to love them or b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
    table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.bizjournals.com/orlando/stories/2008/10/13/daily22.htmlcid=1258166540ei=H5b2SOKvD4mE6QPAx8yTCQusg=AFQjCNFy8k9bwvpEfrmg2uM9t65fLLfeKwFun Spot opens 3rd location/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fBizjournals.com,nbsp;NCnbsp;-/font nobr9 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Fun Spot bAttractions/b will open its third location Friday in the Osceola Square Mall on US Highway 192 in Kissimmee. The battraction/b, called Fun Spot Junior, b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
    table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.etravelblackboard.com/showarticle.asp%3Fid%3D83408%26nav%3D46cid=0ei=H5b2SOKvD4mE6QPAx8yTCQusg=AFQjCNEteUDZwADISqlimyvRAj_oMhD6wAHawaiian’s chef a classic battraction/b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fe-Travel Blackboard (press release),nbsp;Australianbsp;-/font nobr3 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Hawaiian Airlines consulting chef Beverly Gannon, one of Hawaii’s most celebrated restaurateurs, was among the key drawcards at Hawaii’s recent Kahala Food b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
    table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.burnhamandhighbridgeweeklynews.co.uk/news/burnham_news/3757262.Sadness_at_decision_to_sell_tourist_attraction/cid=0ei=H5b2SOKvD4mE6QPAx8yTCQusg=AFQjCNErNrDfm3TbYFOjyZghhHVI_5fhiASadness at decision to sell tourist battraction/b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fBurnham Highbridge Weekly News,nbsp;UKnbsp;-/font nobr10 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1By David Hemming » THE owners of a popular Brean battraction/b have this week spoken of their sadness at being forced to sell their business. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
    table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp%3FarticleId%3D281474977478219cid=0ei=H5b2SOKvD4mE6QPAx8yTCQusg=AFQjCNGUQkRb2X4k1KnN-S8Q5NNr3O4aTwLaw of bAttraction/b Manifestation Exercise #21 - Watching For the b.../b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fGather.com,nbsp;MAnbsp;-/font nobr13 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1One of the most important things that proved to me that the Law of bAttraction/b was indeed real was my personal experience with synchronicity. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
    table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.prlog.org/10128497-georgia-haunted-house-enthusiasts-save-money-at-camp-blood.htmlcid=0ei=H5b2SOKvD4mE6QPAx8yTCQusg=AFQjCNEVBBryRYqDy729utqdmDzPZWZ-hAGeorgia#39;s Camp Blood haunted battraction/b announces new cost-saving b.../b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fPRLog.Org (press release),nbsp;Romanianbsp;-/font nobr12 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1PRLog (Press Release) – Oct 14, 2008 – Georgia#39;s haunted battraction/b Camp Blood begins offering a Web Discount Coupon this week to their customers, b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
    table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.bromsgroveadvertiser.co.uk/news/yourview/3756097.Little_attraction/cid=1258139154ei=H5b2SOKvD4mE6QPAx8yTCQusg=AFQjCNFs4AP2cUwS9ugEqYu-I2axhRl5vwLittle battraction/b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fBromsgrove Advertiser,nbsp;UKnbsp;-/font nobr12 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1I TOTALLY agree with comments made by Mrs Stokes about the lack of retail shops in the High Street, Bromsgrove. If councillors are in any doubt about what b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
    table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm%3Fnewsid%3D20165162%26BRD%3D2754%26PAG%3D461%26dept_id%3D574068%26rfi%3D6cid=1258140433ei=H5b2SOKvD4mE6QPAx8yTCQusg=AFQjCNFTlO9c35Wrh8W-jRtfXrwdmZILOAAquarium Named Best In State/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fWagoner Tribune,nbsp;OKnbsp;-/font nobr10 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1In addition to the top award of Outstanding bAttraction/b, the Aquarium also received merit recognition in the category of Best Brochure or Publication. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
    table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.manmonthly.com.au/Article/Female-attraction-in-manufacturing/427633.aspxcid=1257871769ei=H5b2SOKvD4mE6QPAx8yTCQusg=AFQjCNHHhmH2D-g5BDyH819JW6tnldbeUgFemale battraction/b in manufacturing/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fManufacturers' Monthly,nbsp;Australianbsp;-/font nobr19 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1THE Australian Manufacturing Workers Union (AMWU) has turned to its members to help find ways of luring more women into manufacturing as a way of addressing b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
    attraction - Google News

    Breaking News: The Answer May Not Be In The Infomercial Financial Course

    The other night, leg cramps kept me up at night... Read More

    Finders Keepers

    Do you remember your younger years when you and your... Read More

    Achieving Your Highest Potential: The Journey Begins With Self Awareness

    We live in a world filled with beliefs, values, and... Read More

    Creating Relationship Synergy through Rapport Building

    One of the great things about rapport is that it... Read More

    Some Straight Talk About Your Success And Happiness

    I want to warn you: this article can cause some... Read More

    14 Relationship Principles to Live A Successful Relationship

    Each relationship combines two individual stories to coauthor a new... Read More

    The Magic of Mike

    The woman stood over the stove stirring a pot of... Read More

    Are You a Wildflower?

    Wildflowers grow from mere dust to reach their full potential.Wildflowers... Read More

    To Be More Attractive? Zap The Tolerations!

    Imagine there is an event that will take place in... Read More

    Achieving Your Vision of Abundance

    How can we have more abundance in our lives? It... Read More

    You Attract What You Are

    It's been said that, "To attract attractive people, you must... Read More

    10 Common Money And Success Myths ? Part 3

    Here we continue to discuss a few commonly held beliefs,... Read More

    Be Specific

    Are you having a difficult time pinpointing what you want... Read More

    Follow Your Passion

    The key to a successful life lies in following your... Read More

    Appreciating and Communicating Your Value

    It's a common scenario. Although the specific circumstances may differ,... Read More

    A Story Of Unbelievable Persistence

    Dick and Jay sat on the ground outside the shed.... Read More

    Affirmations - Anxiety & Panic

    Using affirmations can be a very powerful tool. You can... Read More

    Whats the Opposite of Doubt?

    The Law of Attraction teaches us that whatever you focus... Read More

    The Beast

    What does one do when one is too old, too... Read More

    Bad Luck ... Or Blessing In Disguise?

    There was a woman who was in such a hurry... Read More

    The Magnetic, Attracting Power of the Mind

    The power of the mind draws certain events, circumstances and... Read More

    How to Get that It Factor Happening

    Sitting here today in sunny Queensland Australia, I'm reflecting on... Read More

    You Cant Have An Intelligent Conversation With Everyone

    Intelligent conversation is one of life's pleasures. I love nothing... Read More

    Four Steps to Attracting More Good Luck

    The Luck Factor rips apart the notion that luck is... Read More

    Success Through Authenticity: Harness Your ?Innie? Natural Edge

    For any inner-directed individual, much of life feels like you... Read More