Be A Champion Communicator by Becoming a Chameleon -

Home
>
Coaching
>
Be A Champion Communicator by Becoming a Chameleon

Be A Champion Communicator by Becoming a Chameleon

Recently, I worked with a client who was having a problem with some of the women in her organization. The organization had just undergone major changes, which resulted in different reporting relationships for many of the women. The problem was that the women were having trouble effectively communicating with their new bosses.

Before the changes, the women were able to work with their supervisors very successfully. They and their supervisors shared similar communication styles, so they complemented each other quite well. However, when the women were reassigned, their communication styles differed dramatically from those of their new supervisors. Instead of being able to get along with their new bosses, they experienced a lot of conflict every time they spoke to them.

What happened? Why were these women who were so successful in dealing with one type of person having so much trouble dealing with a different type of person? It is because the communication styles no longer matched and when styles don't match, problems are almost certain to develop. (One point worth mentioning ? while we are talking about women in this situation, this problem occurs equally as often with men if they mismatch the people with whom they are communicating).

Many of us make a critical mistake when we interact with others. We believe that everyone perceives the world the same way we do. This assumption can lead to strained relationships, conflict, or worse. People are different and while we may find a large number of people who are like us, we will find an even greater number of people who are not like us.

People make unconscious decisions about whether or not they feel comfortable with us. If our styles of communicating are like theirs, we can usually develop rapport with them easily. However, if our styles are very different from theirs, they feel an unconsciousness sense of tension whenever we are around. Tension between people usually does not lead to successful interactions.

To be champion communicators, we need to change our approach to match the specific style of each individual we wish to influence. This is a powerful way to get people to feel comfortable with us; when people are comfortable with us, they are more willing to be open to what we have to say. There are four major communication styles. While everyone has some of each style incorporated into his or her own unique personality, each of us has a predominant style.

Amiables ? Are very cooperative, they get along with others, they are self-controlled, systematic, stable, patient, perseverant, accommodating, and logical. They are motivated by feeling secure, being part of a team, and feeling appreciated. They dislike conflict, taking risks and change.

Analyticals - Are rational, detail oriented, organized, unemotional, process-oriented, logical, and cautious. They are motivated by being right, doing things themselves, and being noticed for their accuracy. They dislike aggressiveness, conflict, or being forced to make quick decisions.

Drivers - Are aggressive, impatient, and results oriented. They are motivated by being in control, being number one, having personal choices, fast actions, and change. They dislike details, long drawn out conversations, and not being in charge.

Expressives - Are friendly, talkative, emotional, optimistic, people oriented, and enthusiastic. They are motivated by being liked, having fun, being noticed, and receiving approval. They dislike conflict, details, and focusing only on the business at hand.

When you recognize someone's predominant style (especially if it differs from your own), use that style when communicating with him or her. Going back to our example with the women who were reassigned, most of them used an amiable approach, which is somewhat slow paced. However, most of their new supervisors were drivers who wanted information quickly and succinctly. After learning about different communication styles, the women used a quicker, more results oriented approach with their bosses and they were able to work together successfully.

A champion is someone who can be successful no matter what the circumstances. By adopting a chameleon communication strategy, you can change your style to match the person you are with and then you can be a champion too.

Della Menechella is a speaker, author, and trainer who helps organizations achieve greater success by improving the performance of their people. She is a contributing author to Thriving in the Midst of Change and the author of the videotape The Twelve Commandments of Goal Setting. She can be reached at della@dellamenechella.com. Subscribe to free Peak Performance Pointers e-zine - send blank e-mail to subscribe@dellamenechella.com.

In The News:

table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jYXIebyoA19Yakmu56TRGJvf_mvgD93OK5203cid=1255902483ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNEj-zvG2QwT7Rz8X0VZ9GsUxHFsSgPaterno bcoaching/b from press box at Wisconsin/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fThe Associated Pressnbsp;-/font nobr1 hour ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1(AP) — A sore right leg will keep Penn State bcoach/b Joe Paterno in the press box for the No. 6 ranked Nittany Lions#39; game at Wisconsin on Saturday night. b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.capecodonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article%3FAID%3D/20081010/SPORTS/81009022cid=1255902483ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNHEsbZRGnGBSGxsqLPSv_28_P0EpQBingham: At 81, no quit in Paterno/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrCape Cod Times/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5i0A2lz7SNoWcD7zQwsdWcxX1wZSAD93LTO384cid=1255902483ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNEqKc3-c2JLuQHFjrCaHaRjeVzbdAJoePa says he#39;ll decide on sideline later in week/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrThe Associated Press/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jW31TPPcAWBCv7IMQJAuThcFo3rQD93JRFCO0cid=1255902483ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNGXTEBrAAky2bl7Gq8jw9rNJ0wGjgHip injury forces Paterno to bcoach/b from press box/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrThe Associated Press/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1255902483hl=ennobrall 164 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table

table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.themoneytimes.com/news/20081011/nhl_atlanta_7_washington_4-id-1038203.htmlcid=1256315662ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNHkEY3KzfYGBOPC4fKf_F8f-tFboAimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=E7l0as0DX-MJimgurl=www.themoneytimes.com/filess/NHL_16.jpg width=80 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2The Money Times/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/preview2008/columns/story%3Fcolumnist%3Dburnside_scott%26id%3D3637706cid=1256315662ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNHnLkWPvZNJKc92VQKkdtSsgok9yQOld friends finally get chance to face off together in the bigs/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fESPNnbsp;-/font nobr9 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Last season, Bruce Boudreau led the Capitals to the playoffs in his first NHL bcoaching/b campaign. Anderson nearly walked into the visitors#39; dressing room b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.usatoday.com/sports/scores108/108285/NHL830019.htmcid=1256315662ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNGUUFvKBDuzrMJt8S36j-_awjMclAThrashers-Panthers Preview/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrUSA Today/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.gwinnettdailypost.com/main.asp%3FSectionID%3D7%26SubSectionID%3D7%26ArticleID%3D51360cid=1256315662ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNEcws0EoifHyhKy-BkDC8semHz5mgThrashers install system aimed at increasing their offensive b.../b/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrGwinnett Daily Post/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.ajc.com/blogs/content/shared-blogs/ajc/thrashersfans/entries/2008/10/11/winning_a_game.htmlcid=1256315662ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNGoDb9zqWjfyI147jlxoKKef9F2PAWinning A Game That Last Year They Wouldn#39;t Have/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrAtlanta Journal Constitution/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1 class=pa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/LAC.20081008.QUESTIONS08/TPStory/Sportscid=1256315662ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNErpyQ93xGhoBb4VHXdtodFDiwDMQnobrGlobe and Mail/nobr/anbsp;- a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.sportsline.com/nhl/gamecenter/preview/NHL_20081010_WAS%40ATLcid=1256315662ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNG7LRvpG8SqAz1AR7h7NW6oIPhKEQnobrCBSSports.com/nobr/a/fontbr/font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1256315662hl=ennobrall 222 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table

table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://bleacherreport.com/articles/67283-breaking-down-the-radiers-matchup-w-the-saintscid=1255749878ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNE5617xAby8ehZjg7lTwzes0gF9bwimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=can7el_Xqg0Jimgurl=bleacherreport.com/images_root/image_pictures/0102/1697/356080914a07_saints_v_redskins_feature.jpg width=80 height=54 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Bleacher Report/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi%3Ff%3D/c/a/2008/10/11/SPP913EPBT.DTLcid=1255749878ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNGtdsNt-0xstDSofNDo6o7kas3OkwRaiders at Saints (10 am, Ch. 5)/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fSan Francisco Chronicle,nbsp; USAnbsp;-/font nobr18 minutes ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Interim promotee Tom Cable makes his NFL head-bcoaching/b debut. If he wants to ditch the temp-hire title, he must start winning games ASAP. b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.thespread.com/ap-news-nfl-100/saints-look-to-right-ship-vs.-struggling-raiders.htmlcid=1255749878ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNGVSs7XTYh2JNeoVmWEyyFgRNB0twSaints look to right ship vs. struggling Raiders/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrThe Spread/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.canalstreetchronicles.com/2008/10/11/632091/raiders-saints-scouting-recid=1255749878ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNHDN1_O5Z-wMG9Sxjg7GfJye432pwRaiders @ Saints: Scouting Report/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrCanal Street Chronicles/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.kansascity.com/491/story/834077.htmlcid=1255749878ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNH3dELlWotMwjyMJ5GxW-Yj4-t80QNFL Preview - Oakland (1-3) at New Orleans (2-3)/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrKansas City Star/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1 class=pa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/12/sports/football/12rhoden.html%3Fref%3Dfootballcid=1255749878ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNFwem0_Obtiv2D8jEs-g5kCE1734AnobrNew York Times/nobr/anbsp;- a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://nor.scout.com/2/799419.htmlcid=1255749878ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNGOK_rXADn-4mav4mLZFdgWb2ZeMQnobrSaints Insider/nobr/a/fontbr/font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1255749878hl=ennobrall 108 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table

table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/cricket/international/india/3168121/Ricky-Ponting-puts-Australia-on-front-foot-with-first-century-in-India-Cricket.htmlcid=1255818155ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNHUlaiOUwYiTevM8FWbI7c4nFpxngimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=Rs27sPMu-EIJimgurl=www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01007/ricky-ponting_1007044c.jpg width=80 height=50 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Telegraph.co.uk/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5jI1K6TsapHo7k-oyx1CeY7M6Cdcgcid=1255818155ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNE2cvVTeATB4ZB4hc32atuBkJG-XwPonting praises Chappell#39;s bcoaching/b role/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fAFPnbsp;-/font nobr20 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1SYDNEY (AFP) — Ricky Ponting has praised the bcoaching/b work of former Test great Greg Chappell in helping the Australian team adjust to the demands of b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24477654-7583,00.htmlcid=1255818155ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNFIetVZ8USa4bc2PNlH6mEYgFiZ8gStorm retreat the final humiliation/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrThe Australian/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://usa.cricinfo.com/indvaus2008/content/story/373170.htmlcid=1255818155ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNFUng-_rQKGgSr7K9HuaRstoBTo9wPonting 1 Harbhajan 0/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrCricInfo.com/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1255818155hl=ennobrall 1,247 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table

table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jqZAsOkl0M52FylDnnanyNpY33FQD93OKFC80cid=1254952702ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNE2685GIH2QBMByobZT3vAdc-ZRvgimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=os6w-focHQUJimgurl=ap.google.com/media/ALeqM5iT8r3r9Gmkg-yCNafYkyeGJuk2bA width=68 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2The Associated Press/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.al.com/auburnfootball/mobileregister/index.ssf%3F/base/sports/1223716533268110.xml%26coll%3D3cid=1254952702ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNEVOjV3uKPJm4iw6D1T9fKwzhDHWAbCoaching/b saga permeates game Auburn, Arkansas contest/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fPress-Register - al.com,nbsp;ALnbsp;-/font nobr16 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1He returns today as head bcoach/b at Arkansas, taking his new team into an equally volatile environment. The Tigers (4-2, 2-2 SEC) and Arkansas (2-3, b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2008/oct/08/coaching-flap-history/cid=1254952702ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNGsZQIRes-C3emw1KAUQfHHKcUHjgPetrino, Tuberville bcoaching/b flap? History/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrMemphis Commercial Appeal/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.timesdaily.com/article/20081011/ARTICLES/810110334%3FTitle%3DTime_to_take_a_step_forwardcid=1254952702ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNFWGZ-8CLTy7gWRX88yMKPQ7VmNeQTime to take a step forward/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrTimes Daily (subscription)/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.nwaonline.net/articles/2008/10/06/razorback_central/100708fbcpetrinoauburn.txtcid=1254952702ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNHPMerPaoRgpot6tIeEvTtX8uXXIwPetrino, Tuberville Not Focused On Controversy/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrThe Morning News/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1 class=pa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.sportingnews.com/yourturn/viewtopic.php%3Ft%3D468155cid=1254952702ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNF5rqDg5fMzMWSjQk3kg4gjBv3yrAnobrSportingNews.com/nobr/anbsp;- a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.baxterbulletin.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article%3FAID%3D/20081011/SPORTS/810110311/1006cid=1254952702ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNFexXckgsExx5r7P41SCcJ6a1PDUgnobrBaxter Bulletin/nobr/a/fontbr/font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1254952702hl=ennobrall 282 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table

table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.stuff.co.nz/4724609a2201.htmlcid=1256618846ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNHxenFD1dQ6EfAHJ7FvmWL1lhvXuwimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=nFDodAuYNxkJimgurl=www.stuff.co.nz/images/763708.jpg width=67 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Stuff.co.nz/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.stuff.co.nz/4724609a2201.htmlcid=1256618846ei=wVPxSI0rl_7qA6-wmbwHusg=AFQjCNHxenFD1dQ6EfAHJ7FvmWL1lhvXuwRemind me again, why can#39;t Bluey bcoach/b the Kiwis/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fStuff.co.nz,nbsp;New Zealandnbsp;-/font nobr3 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Columnist John Dybvig believes the New Zealand Rugby League should #39;#39;have had the ballsquot; to break their own rules and let Brian quot;Blueyquot; McLennan bcoach/b Leeds b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table

coaching - Google News