Do You See Clearly?

"I don't see how I can just make up my mind to be happy and successful; and suddenly, magically, I will be. That seems to me to be a denial of my reality. My life is a mess. I am not happy. My life is not a success." she wrote.

She was replying to my email response to her first inquiry. She had written to ask how I could write (in a previous article in this eZine) that if you wanted to be happy, you just had to choose to be happy. I had replied, in my first email, that how we felt about ourselves and our life was entirely within our control; and once we had decided to change how we felt, thought and believed, the circumstances and conditions of our lives would change to meet our new expectations.

This conundrum is surely the 'catch-22' of self-improvement. You must both accept the reality of where you are at and, at the same time, deny its ultimate veracity in order to create a new, bigger and better, reality.

Now, I am not saying you should go into denial about the facts of your life. That's a huge mistake. Many people attempt to live with their shortcomings, failures and addictions by being in denial and it does not work. Nothing gets any better that way. Often it gets even worse.

Many people also attempt to change their life by muttering some affirmation like "I am happy, healthy, wealthy and wise," in a blind attempt to convince themselves that they are not unhappy, unhealthy, impoverished and foolish. This does not work too well either.

I am not suggesting that affirmations are not useful. They can be a very powerful tool and, used properly, they can be a big help in changing your predominant thought patterns, your core beliefs and your basic emotional outlook on life.

However, it is necessary, if we wish to improve our lot in life, to first face and accept that we have certain core beliefs, predominant thought patterns and basic emotions attitudes. Then, we also must accept that it is these very beliefs, thoughts and emotions that have created the reality that we now have in our lives.

Then, we must decide to adopt new, improved, intentional ways of believing, thinking and feeling in order to create the new reality we have idealized and desired for ourselves. This is not denial. It is the acceptance of our co-creative abilities; and, the acceptance our freedom to choose what and how to think, believe and feel. It is the taking on of the responsibility for one's life, as it is, and as it could be.

It is the facing and accepting of the truth that we cannot blame the conditions and circumstances of our present life for how we feel, how and what we think, what we believe. It is the facing and accepting of the truth that how we have been feeling, how and what we have been thinking, what we have been believing has actually contributed to the conditions and circumstances of our lives.

What we have is a result of what we have done. What we have done is a result of how we have been. How we have been is a result of how we have felt, thought and believed about ourselves and about life as a whole.

If you want to change or improve what you have in life (the conditions, circumstances--the effects), you must address the cause. You have the power to consciously and intentionally choose your feelings, your thoughts and your beliefs. These are the cause of your happiness and success because they control how you act or react, what you do or don't do and it is what you enact, moment-by-moment, that produces the results you get to have day-to-day.

Yes, it is tough work. However, it is not as tough as living an unhappy and unsuccessful life. Why continue to do so just because you are habituated to doing so?

So, it is not about denying the reality of how life has been until now; it is about seeing and accepting that there is a greater reality in how you choose life will be from now on. Focus your vision on the ideal. Affirm its reality. Feel its reality. Believe in its reality. Act accordingly. Don't be surprised when it turns out to be just the way you imagined it to be.

© Leslie Fieger. All rights reserved worldwide.

Leslie is the author of The DELFIN Knowledge System Trilogy: The Initiation, The Journey and The Quest plus many more success publications. He also the co-author of The End of the World with Hugh Jeffries and Alexandra's DragonFire with his daughter Ashley. Subscribe to his free and ad-free eZine at http://www.ProsperityParadigm.com or http://www.LeslieFieger.com.

Reprinting and republishing of this article is granted only with the above credit included. Permission to reprint or republish does not waive any copyright.

Telegraph.co.uk
WTA tour to allow on-court tennis coaching
Telegraph.co.uk, United Kingdom - Sep 4, 2008
On-court coaching will be allowed at all women's tournaments next season, apart from the four grand slams, in a move that will not please the ...
WTA to Feature On-Court Coaching Washington Post
WTA approves coaching during matches San Francisco Chronicle
WTA Tour allows on-court coaching next year The Associated Press
SINDH TODAY - New York Timesall 232 news articles

Western Illinois sweeps Chicago State, McKay moves up in Western ...
Western Illinois University Athletics, IL - 8 hours ago
The win moves head coach Kym McKay up to the No. 3 spot in the Western Illinois coaching records for most wins with 72 (surpassing Jolene Vinson, 1993-98), ...
Westerwinds move to 1-1 in weekend tournament play Western Illinois University Athletics
all 6 news articles

Washington Post
Beavers to face coaching legend today
Statesman Journal, OR - 21 hours ago
By Gary Horowitz • Statesman Journal It was a moment that speaks to the legend and longevity of Penn State coach Joe Paterno. When Lyle Moevao was asked ...
Fly Sweep leads to big plays for Rodgers, Beaver offense The Daily Collegian Online
Saturday in the Pac-10 Arizona Republic
Big win raises expectations at Penn State GatorBait.net (subscription)
The Oregonian - OregonLive.com - Pittsburgh Post Gazetteall 451 news articles

The coaching conundrum
Irish Independent, Ireland - 3 hours ago
O nce upon a time in one of the established rugby playing countries, an aspiring coach sought advice on a job offer he had received. ...

Patriots plan to adjust
Boston Globe, United States - 23 hours ago
His name was bandied about for head coaching positions. But in the biggest game of the season, Super Bowl XLII, the symphony of offensive precision the ...
Patriots Beat: McDaniels is back on the offensive MetroWest Daily News
Patriots offensive coordinator McDaniels says offense is ahead of ... Providence Journal
Patriots Josh McDaniels is the man with a plan The Patriot Ledger
all 11 news articles

Boston College - Sound Off!
Atlanta Journal Constitution,  USA - 9 hours ago
Coaching: This team is extremely mentally tough and that’sa direct result of a mentally tough and confident coaching staff. We are going to be scary good in ...

Golden prospect: Van's the man to get Britain back on track
Independent, UK - 8 hours ago
I felt we needed a higher level of coaching input across the board and Dave wasn't able to give that." Indeed not. Collins was never an athletics coach or ...
British athletics ‘in for rude awakening’ Times Online
all 2 news articles

Woodbridge, Angelique give coaching to young players
Jakarta Post, Indonesia - Sep 5, 2008
Nine-time Wimbledon men's doubles champion Australian Todd Woodbridge and Indonesia's former No. 1 player Angelique Widjaja shared tennis tidbits and ...

Vols football: Cooper earns coaching staff's respect
Jackson Sun, TN - 21 hours ago
Cooper began preparing for a bigger role during the Vols' fall camp, but coach Phillip Fulmer was still concerned with his consistency during the offseason. ...

USA Boxing national director of coaching Campbell steps down
ESPN - Sep 5, 2008
By Dan Rafael Less that two weeks after leading the US Olympic boxing team to its worst performance ever at the Beijing Games, national director of coaching ...

Wind Chimes and more...

Windchimes for great gifts!

Tripping On Mindfulness