Feeling Self-Conscious? 6 Tips to Turn it Around Fast!

When you feel self-conscious it means you are putting too much attention on your self, too much focus on what you are doing and how you are doing it. And this is a formula for poor performance.

The secret then to dealing with this problem is to become other conscious.

If all you do is shift your focus from self to others you will communicate better, perform better and become a far better listener.

Another positive consequence is that other people will enjoy spending time with you because it is so obvious you give them your complete attention.

Your goal is to become so fascinated by other people that your focus is on what they say, how they say it and why they say it.

6 Tips for Becoming Other Conscious:

1. Pay attention to the way people breathe, watch closely and observe the relationship between breathing and speaking.

2. Listen not just to what people say but the way they say it. Pay very close attention to speech patterns, changes in tempo, volume and tone.

3. Ask thoughtful questions to understand the way others think. Really strive to grasp why others think what they think.

4. Whenever your focus shifts back to the way you are behaving ask yourself questions about the other person so you need to pay attention to him e.g.

  • What does he really mean by that?

  • How does he manage to be so boring?

  • How does she keep people so entranced with her words?

5. Use your imagination to change your mood and to keep your mind too occupied to be self-conscious.

You could for example imagine that the people you are talking to are wearing no clothes or inappropriate clothes. Why not have some fun, feel good and still enjoy a good conversation?

You owe it to yourself to find as many ways as possible to feel good. As I have said before excellent communication skills are more dependant on your mental and emotional states than on clever language patterns.

6. Use affirmations to condition a new belief about your ability to be relaxed and other conscious. For example:

  • I am fascinated by the way people talk

  • I give my complete attention to whoever I talk to

  • I am an excellent conversationalist

  • I feel fantastic when I meet new people

About The Author

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

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In my work with individuals and couples, I see many... Read More

THE Step to Working Smarter (Japanese Style)

Remember that Coke contest from the 80s? If you collected... Read More

The Rewards and Risks Of Personal Freedom

We all need to decide whether to "play it safe"... Read More

Creating Supportive Environments

I'm writing this on my laptop in a Cosi café... Read More

Walt Disney, the Inspiration to Form a Better Life?

You, like many others, may have come to this article... Read More

The Mid-Life Challenge: Make a Plan to Re-ignite Vocational Passion

Nobody will stop you in the hallway at work to... Read More

Transitions: Moving Through Change With Grace

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Leadership Coaching at Gettysburg

The battle at Gettysburg is one of the most notable... Read More

Among the Purpose & Personality

I have one magical thought, lets see it more closely.... Read More

How To Increase Your Coaching Record By At Least 25%

"How can I become a better and more effective coach?"... Read More

7 Effective Ways To Boost Your Self Esteem

1. Get a life purpose statement.A well thought out life... Read More

Success: Cant Achieve It By Yourself? Pay A Professional!

So many people go through the motions of trying to... Read More

If What You Are Doing Is Not Working Change Your Approach

And ironically the more we worry about it, the more... Read More

Expectations Can Get In Our Way

There are times when we truly look forward to something... Read More

Do You Need a Performance Coach?

In today's fast paced world, we are often confronted with... Read More

Why Pacing and Leading is for Wimps!

Okay, you have read some books on body language and... Read More

Run to Win

I was never much of an athlete growing up. Notoriously... Read More

Potential

One of the most often mis-understood aspects of self-development is... Read More

Just Listen, Please!

When did you last do that? When did you last... Read More