How To Deal With People Who Dislike You

When you read books on personal development and articles about making your life better the emphasis is generally on the positive.

You learn all about deciding what you want and how to get it. However you also need specific guidelines for dealing with situations when nothing seems to be working despite your best efforts.

One of the hardest things to deal with is the fact that some people will dislike you no matter how wonderful you are. The reasons why someone does not like you may be incorrect, unfair or unjust. Yet they still affect how that person deals with you.

I recommend a three step plan to deal with this challenge:

1. Penetrate The Peer Group

Find the peer group of the person who dislikes you and seek to make friends with people in this group. Build a positive reputation with these people one at a time and your public image will shift in the eyes of the person who you are having trouble with.

This is like doing your own P.R. campaign directly to the people who have the most influence over the opinions of the person who dislikes you. Peer group pressure is a powerful way to change the perceptions of a group member.

2. Find Reasons To Like The Person

When someone clearly dislikes you what usually happens next? You start to actively dislike that person in return!

It becomes a feeding frenzy that can spiral out of control very quickly. The other person sees your negative reaction to them and responds accordingly. You feel and see how much disdain they have for you and you respond with more hate. Like a game of tennis the negative feelings bounce back and forth.

You can break this cycle. How? By deciding to find ways to like the person. Here are two ways to get started:

1. Make a quick list of things you like or could like about this person.

Be creative. The more reasons the better.

2. List the ways the person is like you.

This may be an eye opener because we often have very strong reactions to people who display characteristics we dislike about ourselves.

The more reasons you come up with the easier it will be for you to feel positive towards the other person. This change in your non verbal communication will be noticeable and will help ease some of the tension in the air.

This is often when the dynamics of the relationship can shift unexpectedly for the better. Deciding to like the other person regardless of how they are behaving is the first step to making this happen.

At the very least you will feel better. And when you feel better it is a lot easier to find solutions to deal with these tricky situations.

3. Take Baby Steps Towards Greater Rapport

With someone who dislikes you the same rules of rapport still apply only you need to have more patience.

Aim to make slight gradual progress with the person in question and over time you can shift the relationship from negative to neutral and maybe even to positive.

And be kind to yourself if the whole situation still upsets you. It is perfectly natural to feel uncomfortable when someone dislikes you. However it is foolish to roll over and play dead.

Take charge of your communication with this person and aim to improve the situation. The little progress you make will boost your confidence and help you communicate even better with everyone else you ever meet.

About The Author

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

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Home For The Holidays

In my husband's family, family members send Christmas cards to... Read More

Two Pillows and One Dead Husband

That's what I needed when I delved deeply into my... Read More

Who Do You Talk To?

Many of you reading this will be running businesses, or... Read More

The Pitfalls of Procrastination

We all put off making decisions and taking action sometimes... Read More

What The Buddha Says About Coaches

There is a Buddhist saying that goes like this: "If... Read More

An Easy Way to End The Year

As a healthy business owner or independent professional, how do... Read More

The Adventure Attitude

Of the 60,000 people who lived to be over 100... Read More

Listening Skills In Relationships

Recently, when out to dinner with another couple, my husband... Read More

Can I Be My Own ADD Coach?

Quite often I am in contact with people who discuss... Read More

Essence of Awakeness

Be conscious, aware, and alert. Pay attention. Remember when you... Read More

What is Life Coaching?

An recent article in Money Magazine said that "A coach... Read More

Email Etiquette 1

I thought it might be worth visiting some email etiquette... Read More

Nothing is left to Chance

You are going to meet a very important client for... Read More

Success: Cant Achieve It By Yourself? Pay A Professional!

So many people go through the motions of trying to... Read More

Happiness and Work: Your Life Depends On It.

Early one morning, Robert awoke, made his wife of 41... Read More

Fear Is Nothing To Be Afraid Of!

What do you do when fear shows up? Do you... Read More

Feeling Self-Conscious? 6 Tips to Turn it Around Fast!

When you feel self-conscious it means you are putting too... Read More

Plug in Your Systems for Success

Have you ever noticed that so many of us who... Read More

Leadership Coaching at Gettysburg

The battle at Gettysburg is one of the most notable... Read More