Loving Every Phenomenal Part of You

Have you ever wished yourself away? I am not referring to leaving your precious life on this Earth; but rather, just wished you weren't a certain way or did not have some particular qualities and mannerisms that were so apparent to you. I know I have.

In the past, I've had a very difficult time when others would point out my weaknesses to me, either constructively or not-so tactfully. I would think, " Wow, not only do I think these are big problems I have, but now everyone else sees them as well." I would hope and pray that these parts of my personality would disappear into the deep character trait abyss. I would pretend to myself they weren't present or I would try my hardest to cover them up. I spent a lot of time and energy on hiding these areas that I wanted so desperately to vanish.

A big first step in learning to love oneself and in self-forgiveness is accepting every part of you as the unique person that you are. All of your so-labeled liabilities can be tweaked into assets, but they must first be accepted. Otherwise, you are pushing against the grain and not being authentic to your true self.

Let me give you an example of what I am talking about. In all of my past serious relationships, I have loved very passionately- so much so, that I've depended on the other person in the relationship for my happiness (what is commonly referred to as co-dependence). My moods depended on their moods, their well-being, or were correlated to the way they were treating me at the time. One can argue that this is not really love. I feel it was love, but with a very important component missing-that passionate love for myself? With it, the "dysfunctional" one-sided relationships may have flourished or an even more likely scenario~ I would have probably not attracted them in the first place (but that's a topic for another day). Once I accepted this as a part of my unique persona I was able to direct it in a more healthy manner-passionate love for my child, my work, my family, my faith, and most importantly, myself.

You may find your dark sides in anger, co-dependence, low self-esteem or a combination of these or other perhaps not so desirable traits. We are missing a part of us by wishing these traits weren't ours and not owning up to every inch of them. If we are only loving a part of ourselves or of others, we are not fully engaged in the experience of love. You know that feeling of being in a relationship where the other person may "kind of like you" or you "kind of like them". It doesn't flourish, and neither party is truly happy. It has been said by finding an area in which you have found the most struggles, therein lies your true purpose. These are gifts for us to embrace; lessons are presented for us to learn. Think of one of your greatest challenges-has that not shaped who you are today? When you are in the midst of it, it can be difficult; but when you step back, you see the beauty of it all.

Accept your yin and your yang. Accept your dark and your light. Accept your failures and your successes. I am not suggesting that we use this as an excuse to not participate in personal development or self-care, or to neglect to learn those lessons that are often presented to us throughout our lives. Instead I am suggesting that we embrace our unique selves and know that we are not on this Earth to take up space but rather to fulfill a beautiful life of our dreams in our own special way~ every valuable bit of us.

"If you can't accept yourself, then certainly no one else will." ~Author Unknown

Copyright 2005~Deborah Shipley is a registered yoga teacher, publisher of a free monthly e-zine on self-esteem, and an e-book author. This article may be distributed provided the author's information is included in its entirety. http://www.tipsforinterpersonalskills.com

---

What To Do? Lifes Big Question

We've all experienced the same thing at important crossroads in... Read More

4 Ways To Avoid Looking Stupid When Making Small Talk

The fear of saying something silly and feeling embarrassed stops... Read More

What Rules!

There are things that we do automatically internally that we... Read More

Self-contentment Leads to Confidence

Being self-content means accepting and acknowledging who you are at... Read More

Feeling Self-Conscious? 6 Tips to Turn it Around Fast!

When you feel self-conscious it means you are putting too... Read More

Curbing the Public Nuisance (Part 1)

He's been around since the dawn of humanity. His profession... Read More

The Difference Between Approval and Appreciation

Having worked with individuals, couples, families and business partners for... Read More

Listening Skills In Relationships

Recently, when out to dinner with another couple, my husband... Read More

Drop and Gimme Ten!

Every one of us have dreams, desires and goals that... Read More

Top Ten Reasons to Hire a Personal Coach

Have you considered hiring a personal coach? Jack Canfield, in... Read More

Greasing the Path to Success: Finding the Confidence to Step Up to Key Moments

Whether it's making a prospecting call to a promising business... Read More

Reduce Anxiety About Decison Making

What's the alternative to making decisions?Allowing someone else, or circumstances,... Read More

Flying in the Slow Lane

Dogs distrust hot air balloons. I gathered this tidbit as... Read More

How to Deal Effectively with Anxiety

Every human feels anxiety on occasion; it is a part... Read More

Seeing Your Energy At Work

Our bodies are made of pure energy. With Quantum physics... Read More

Do You Want to Make More Money as A Life Coach

There's a lot of coaches out there not making any... Read More

What is the Success Lesson in this Story?

One of my clients gave me permission to tell you... Read More

Im Gonna Die MY Way

My wife says I have the strangest taste in movies.... Read More

Plug in Your Systems for Success

Have you ever noticed that so many of us who... Read More

Six Steps for Creating Work-Life Balance

Today an increasing number of us are experiencing burnout, low... Read More

The Right Coach

Who is the Best Coach For Achieving Your Goals?A friend... Read More

Mind the Gap

The underground train in London can get you anywhere when... Read More

Every Obstacle Always Presents an Opportunity

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on... Read More

Guilt: Is it Getting in the Way of Your Self-Care?

When Do We Usually Feel Guilty? When:We're not feeling ok... Read More

What Are Your Priorities?

"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want... Read More