|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Have you ever found yourself in a hurry to leave the house for an appointment when you could not find your car keys?
Imagine that you and a friend are in a hurry to leave for an important event. You turn over the couch cushions, rifle through the newspapers on the dining room table, search your previous day's pants pockets, and dig through your purse. Your car keys are nowhere to be found.
Many frantic minutes later, you finally locate the keys. But instead of heading out the door, you argue about who was responsible for misplacing the keys.
Preposterous, isn't it? Laying blame is a further waste of time. Better to hit the road, right? Unfortunately this logic is often lost when ventures fail and organizations fall short of goals. There is a strong predisposition to finding the sole source of fault. But, that is not how to get things done.
Fix the Problem, Not the Blame
This Japanese proverb provides an important lesson on how to appropriately respond to failure. Laying blame will distract you from resolution. To articulate why, I am going to share a revelation with you.
Failure is Painful
We have all been there. Plans are made, resources committed, hours spent towards achieving a goal. Success or failure can weigh on numerous factors and solitary decisions. When failure happens, you are disappointed. You hurt, and you should hurt. The pain of failure is healthy, and can be very productive.
If you believe it is unreasonable to expect perfection, then you allow for the possibility of failure. Excellence is found in your response to failure, not in your elimination of it-that would be folly.
Excellence cannot be achieved without staying steadfast and focused on your goals. Within the construct of excellence, failure is feedback from the system you are operating in. Failure is a call to alter your strategies or improve your execution.
We all make mistakes. Mistakes put you in pain. To solve the problem, requires learning from your mistakes. Why is the pain of failure healthy?
Pain Teaches
The pain experienced by your failure is your conscience providing motivation to change and the urgency to mitigate the damage. Disavowing the pain, by laying blame, provides you with relief at the cost of distracting your focus and energy away from where it is needed to produce corrective action and results.
Take the timeless example of a losing sports team. When a team is losing, when its performance is inferior to its competitors, what is the standard response? Dismiss the coach; rather than those directly responsible for performance, the players. How often does this improve performance?
Certainly there are instances when coaching changes result in more wins, but rarely are those changes long-lasting. Sports teams relying on a coaching change to alter results are acting in a false logic.
The rare exception when a leadership change produces lasting positive results becomes the justification for others to follow the example. In part, it is the path of least resistance. However, these exceptions do not disprove the rule: fix the problem.
Turnarounds in performance are more often influenced by other factors: changes in tactics, euphoria stemming from the short-term pain relief, changes in personnel or alterations on a systems level.
Whether or not you believe in the chaos theory maxim that the flutter of a butterfly's wings in one part of the world can influence weather in another part, success and failure are systemic. On an individual level, your lasting success is derived from your habits, your work ethic, the system of actions and responses that you have taken the time to program into your psyche, to learn.
This systematic influence of habits, work ethic, and programmed actions and responses, are also true on a corporate level. Where coaching changes, or changes in corporate leadership, are most beneficial is when these changes are a component of systematic alterations.
Then, why are we attracted to blame?
Blame is Easy
Our failures, both individual and corporate, leave us in pain. The psychological process of choosing blame over resolution is immediate gratification. Blame provides a path of less resistance. Resolution requires patience, fortitude, and rigor. Just as it is easier to break a vase then fix it, it is also easier to point the finger at the one who broke the vase then fix it.
However where pain is concerned, you can either pay now, or pay later with interest.
To employ another timeless example, observe closely the next time a highly visible publicly traded company replaces their CEO. The popularity of the move among the financial markets will be reflected in the short-term fluctuation of their stock price. But, what happens long-term?
If the dismissal is a scapegoat gesture, there will be no lasting improvement in the company's financial performance. The company took the easy way out. If the performance improves long-term, you can be sure that the dismissal was part of a systemic initiative: individual and collective habits changed, new plans were developed and carried out, a viable strategic vision was undertaken.
Fix the Problem or the Blame
It is not viable to expect that humans or any collection of humans will not make mistakes. If you are focused on achieving a goal, mistakes are a call to alter your strategy or improve your performance.
So you have a choice: either fix the problem or the blame! You cannot do both. Fixing the blame has the effect of diminishing pain, the same pain that would facilitate the lessons that need to be learned to avoid similar mistakes in the future.
REPUBLISHING PERMISSION: You are welcome to download or reprint this article so long as you include my byline and copyright at the end of each piece with a live weblink. Please forward publication specifics to http://www.JeffSimon-Consulting.com/. The attribution should read:
"By Jeff Simon of Jeff Simon Consulting, The Client Retention Specialists. Are you having trouble keeping your best clients? Please visit Jeff's website at http://www.JeffSimon-Consulting.com/ for additional articles and resources for keeping your best clients."
Wind Chimes and more... So many people go through the motions of trying to... Read More To keep at the top of your game you have... Read More It is better to suffer wrong than to do it,... Read More Often while talking to people about my coaching practice I... Read More "Fortune befriends the bold." - John DrydenI regularly work with... Read More Passion is a feeling of excitement and intensity. The energy... Read More Have you ever noticed this to be true?The best things... Read More Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) often feel like they... Read More Here's a story that I think gets at why we... Read More "Tell me what company thou keepst, and I'll tell thee... Read More He's been around since the dawn of humanity. His profession... Read More Every human feels anxiety on occasion; it is a part... Read More Spirituality coaching is more than creating goals and holding someone... Read More Ever find yourself stuck in that awful loop of inactivity?... Read More Each of us has our own set of personal values;... Read More Many moons ago. Talking to people was something I avoided... Read More You got busy at work, got busy in your marriage,... Read More Whether it is irritability or unmitigated rage, anger is an... Read More How many more servings of the daytime self-help salad will... Read More When I lost it all, I felt powerless. During my... Read More What Is Perfectionism?This is the first of two newsletters that... Read More Real change happens only when it becomes part of our... Read More "I can't seem to discover why I'm on the planet.""What... Read More Ever since the Internet bubble and the 9/11 terrorist attacks,... Read More Let me quote something you wrote. "When you reach the... Read More
Windchimes
for great gifts!
Success: Cant Achieve It By Yourself? Pay A Professional!
Your Mindset Determines Your Success in Life
Do You Trust Your Mentor(s)?
Why a Coach is NOT a Consultant
Getting What You Need: Ask For Help!
Passport to Passion
The Best Things in Life Are Rarely Things
6 Practices for Achieving Excellent Self-Care
Coaching: Change Made Simple
Guilt By Association & Wealth By It Too!
Curbing the Public Nuisance (Part 1)
How to Deal Effectively with Anxiety
9 Guidelines For Spiritual Coaching
Getting Unstuck: Moving Forward To Success
Personal Core Values: Your Key to Success and Happiness
Do You Make These Common Mistakes When Talking to People?
Why Don?t You Just Stuff It ALL?
Communicating Anger Compassionately
COACHING: When it?s Beyond Oprah and Dr. Phil
How to Create Your Ideal Life - Excerpt from Individual Power
Managing Your Perfectionism
A Live It
Discovering Your Passion and Purpose
Is Your Life In Motion?
Time Travel
Often while talking to people about my coaching practice I... Read More
Suppose that the human mind is nothing more than a... Read More
Has it ever occurred to you how much you are... Read More
A coach is an essential figure in providing direction and... Read More
Watching the news can be hazardous to your health.It's a... Read More
As a coach that specializes in marriage, couples and family... Read More
Most of us play many different roles in the course... Read More
First of all, criticalness breaks up more relationships, than anything... Read More
As a Life Coach I quickly identified most individuals wanted... Read More
Some people are not in a position to work with... Read More
If you need to put on boots and grab a... Read More
Perhaps no one better than a former U.S. president has... Read More
In this article we would like to help you explore... Read More
Teachers enter the profession with the desire to help others,... Read More
In the Charles Dickens classic, "The Christmas Story", Scrooge is... Read More
We all put off making decisions and taking action sometimes... Read More
Many people who come to my office say they have... Read More
I met Sean a year and a half ago in... Read More
No matter how wonderful you are sometimes other people will... Read More
That's what I needed when I delved deeply into my... Read More
Each and every day as we are building our businesses,... Read More
I have often heard motivational speakers say that the word... Read More
Many business coaches deny the power of suggestion while using... Read More
1. Get a life purpose statement.A well thought out life... Read More
And ironically the more we worry about it, the more... Read More
Coaching |