Why Settle?

When dating we all too often settle for someone that is not quite right. Why should we ever settle for something that isn't quite right, especially when it comes to person that you hope to have an intimate relationship with? It may be ok to settle for a hamburger when you really want a steak, but when you're dating; you're talking about a relationship that is vital to you as a person. Why not define what you want before hand and then let potential dates match up to your standards?

One of the key components in dating and finding someone you want is first knowing what you want. For example think of the last time you really craved say something as simple as ice cream. You might have known the flavor you wanted, you might have known what type of ice cream you wanted. Let's say your craving dark chocolate ice cream, and well someone offers you a vanilla pudding cup. Is that vanilla pudding cup going to cure that craving? It's not likely. Would a chocolate pudding cup quench that hunger, most likely not?

The best thing you can do in finding the right person is knowing yourself, and what you really want. You need to take that time out to fully understand your desires before you can translate that into the relationships that you are looking for. For example, if you really want a person with a spiritual side, you better disclose that just like you would when you say what type of movies you like. If you fail to express this, you will either set yourself up for failure because that other person will not have those qualities, or that it's likely you will be matched to the wrong person.

Do not think that I am advocating a super critical list that only allows for exacting standards. What I am advocating if for you to take time out and to learn from your past mistakes, and dig into why your past relationships failed. That does require some homework on your part. You need to take the time out to see where you looking for someone that was Christian, more loving, someone that was naturally into the arts. One thing is certain you can't go into a relationship thinking you can change that other person, you can only change yourself.

So, why settle? You shouldn't. Know yourself well enough to know what you really want out of a relationship. The dating stage should be fun, and exciting.

You should learn new things about that other person, and enjoy their company; it shouldn't be about struggling to make this other person fit into our mold. One thing we can do is to take time out and look at our past relationships, and see what worked for us, and what didn't, this may help you to decide what you are really looking for. The point to make clear is that you should never settle!

Stephanie Manley is the editor of http://www.copykat.com, she also writes http://romancelessons.blogspot.com, which are writings about romance and relationships.

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