Does Living In A Loveless Marriage Necessarily Mean That You Should Get A Divorce?

Being in a loveless marriage is a frustrating predicament, but it may not necessarily mean that a divorce is eminent. Solving the quandary of a loveless marriage requires self-reflection to assess the situation, courage to try to create a team effort for the best decision with your spouse, and gumption to face the reality that a divorce may be the best solution for the loveless marriage.

But, before you jump right to the easy way out and decide on divorce, you should got through the process of making sure that you have logically thought through long-term implications of ending the loveless marriage.

Being in a loveless marriage and deciding whether to get a divorce based on this one fact alone is a misuse of an opportunity. Its not like deciding whether to stay married due to an extramarital affair or other marriage problems like abuse or living in a sexless marriage, choosing the right divorce decision when it comes to a loveless marriage is a totally different situation.

The opportunity is great to grow personally that is present when you're deciding about divorce because of being in a loveless marriage. Let's take a look at some of the items that are relevant to this situation regarding a loveless marriage and how you can approach this time in your life from a mature standpoint and come to the right choice while growing at the same time.

Loveless marriage item 1: Define love as you see it and assess whether or not your spouse agrees somewhat with you, at least in a complementary fashion.

For a loveless marriage to be assessed properly, making sure your idea or definition of love is "clear" is a solid way to make sure that you know what you've lost. And, if your spouses idea of what love is differs from yours so much that you both can't somewhat reap the benefits of love, you may need counseling to get to the root issue of your loveless marriage.

Loveless marriage item 2: Make sure that you are in fact out of love before you go further with steps to divorce or try to work it out.

Ask yourself, "Am I really out of love or am I giving up?". Keeping love alive can take work and strong communication with yourself and spouse. List the reasons why you think you're out of love and decide if those reasons prohibit a rekindling of love, assuming you were actually in love at some point. Being in a loveless marriage doesn't necessarily mean that it has to stay that way!

Loveless marriage item 3: Decide if you were ever really in love as you define love.

Your loveless marriage could have always been loveless, you may have just been to distracted to notice. You may have received other benefits from being with your spouse in the past that you aren't getting now and that could be why you're frustrated and living in a loveless marriage.

Of course, if you were in fact in love with your spouse at one time in the past, you both might not have done what needs to be done to keep love alive. Before you do anything about your loveless marriage, make sure you understand how your idea of love may have changed over time, and really contemplate if you were really ever in love.

Loveless marriage item 4: Assessing whether or not you need to be in love to stay married and if so, can your love be re-kindled?

This item regarding a loveless marriage is a crucial point in your decision making process. Some people stay married even when they are in a loveless marriage because the benefits they get from being married psychologically outweigh the need for love. These benefits could many things and could stem from lack of self confidence, money, fear of loneliness, etc.

If you're a person who needs love to stay married, make sure that you really think about how rejuvenate the love in your loveless marriage before you decide on divorce. If you're struggling regarding a decision about your loveless marriage, it means that it is worth fighting for.

If you really do soul searching and talk with your spouse openly about the lack of zest in your marriage in the hopes of making it better, you may find that your spouse feels the same way that you do!

Being a loveless marriage can be a drain on your day to day energy if you need love to stay happily married. If your marriage is worth it to you, be mature about the situation and do all you can to rekindle the love before you do anything else. If you do, you'll grow personally as will your spouse regardless whether or not you get a divorce.

Karl Augustine

"A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce"

An eBook recommended by marriage counselors and relationship coaches to their clients.

Deciding on Divorce

Loveless Marriage

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table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.beliefnet.com/Love-Family/Relationships/2001/01/Spiritual-Divorce.aspxcid=0ei=2dbwSKfpK6js6gPxie24Bwusg=AFQjCNF5JkXGR7aVhK5u5RLfCUhk5G_D4gSpiritual bDivorce/b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fBeliefnet.com,nbsp;NYnbsp;-/font nobr2 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Seven spiritual laws to help you see bdivorce/b as a gain rather than a loss. A spiritual bdivorce/b is one in which we use our bdivorce/b to improve our lives and b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,434961,00.htmlcid=1255878174ei=2dbwSKfpK6js6gPxie24Bwusg=AFQjCNEAe6tHQSBEsidXzuh0_A55zJHB6AEstranged Couple Split House in bDivorce/b, Literally/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fFOXNewsnbsp;-/font nobrOct 9, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Forty-year-old Meuon Rima decided to circumvent his country’s expensive bdivorce/b court system by sawing down the middle of the stilted home he shared with b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://ukpress.google.com/article/ALeqM5jDXq63b2XN1Efpc58gyU1a9FNVagcid=1255878174ei=2dbwSKfpK6js6gPxie24Bwusg=AFQjCNELRVibmI4WyxPB-zaLyPM6VEoKQwHusband cuts house in two/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrThe Press Association/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1255878174hl=ennobrall 40 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2008/10/08/2008-10-08_after_divorce_bill_murray_looks_for_rene.htmlcid=1255489068ei=2dbwSKfpK6js6gPxie24Bwusg=AFQjCNFgrZsY_2SN_75nhO82kFlv4u40Zwimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=Yek8AA_6li0Jimgurl=assets.nydailynews.com/img/2008/10/09/amd_billmurray.jpg width=51 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2New York Daily News/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/detail%3Fblogid%3D7%26entry_id%3D31271cid=1255489068ei=2dbwSKfpK6js6gPxie24Bwusg=AFQjCNFr5ncvSNfnIlcnc2DHpgBP_vBQ4AMurray Speaks Out About #39;Devastating#39; bDivorce/b Accusations/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fSan Francisco Chronicle,nbsp; USAnbsp;-/font nobrOct 8, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1The star was hit with bdivorce/b papers by Jennifer Butler Murray, his wife of 10 years, in May. AP Photo/Evan Agostini Bill Murray at a screening of quot;City of b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story%3Fsection%3Dnews/entertainment%26id%3D6439226cid=1255489068ei=2dbwSKfpK6js6gPxie24Bwusg=AFQjCNHfjzZgw1-MumBTIbk_Bk9zWGPyNAMurray opens up about painful bdivorce/b/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrabc7.com/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.transworldnews.com/NewsStory.aspx%3Fid%3D64066%26cat%3D2cid=1255489068ei=2dbwSKfpK6js6gPxie24Bwusg=AFQjCNHzTL1_F3QPEqP7r4m6UMAh9x-FOwBill Murray Left Devastated After bDivorce/b with Wife Jennifer/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrTransWorldNews (press release)/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.nj.com/entertainment/celebrities/index.ssf/2008/10/bill_murray_says_he_was_devast.htmlcid=1255489068ei=2dbwSKfpK6js6gPxie24Bwusg=AFQjCNElYTsOlmwq7OvvTyqtB5-mv30LuwBill Murray says he#39;s emerging from depression over bdivorce/b/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrThe Star-Ledger - NJ.com/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1 class=pa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.inentertainment.co.uk/20081008/jennifer-butler-murray-divorce-left-bill-broken/cid=1255489068ei=2dbwSKfpK6js6gPxie24Bwusg=AFQjCNE3d8FUG755YULktICc0HFLm_8YqgnobrIn Entertainment/nobr/anbsp;- a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.thecelebritycafe.com/features/20573.htmlcid=1255489068ei=2dbwSKfpK6js6gPxie24Bwusg=AFQjCNGEc445fDKtaMRq2IWkw3LO4GNKtwnobrTheCelebrityCafe.com/nobr/a/fontbr/font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1255489068hl=ennobrall 74 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
divorce - Google News

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