Golf Humor Poetry:- Ode To The Fanatical Golfer. (Part Two)

He's not eager to reveal his handicap; Around the truth he would often tap. They told him his game was taking a nap; That it never showed up; it needed a map!

Of his golf apparel he was Oh so proud! But people thought it was just too 'loud'. Often suggesting it needed a shroud; This caused a fight; a rolling dust cloud!

To his heart, golf was the key. It was on the green his soul felt free. He could hardly await the time for 'tee'; But club dues must be paid; this ride's got a fee.

Once in a blue moon he made a birdey; Though he knew much about golf (a little nerdy). About to tee off- his feet stood sturdy; But only took up a divot--brown and verde.

It didn't take long for his eyes to in-take; The path of the ball; the flight it must make. "Easy!", he thought. "This is gonna be cake!" But the fish all braced for it's entry into the lake.

In secret, the rules he would often bend; From his mind, a rationalization he would lend. To him, the means justified the end; Like the fiercest warrior, his handicap must he defend.

Into his 'golf life', sand traps would rain; Bogeys rolled in like some ghastly train. Cancelling out any birdeys he'd gained; "Another golf game", he sighed. "Oh, the pain!"

Shuffling into the house, his face fell. It tapered. His wife smirked, "You lost again, didn't you?" And imagined the caper. With an outstretched hand that 'said', "Pay her!"; Into her purse his $20 went. It vanished like a vapor!

"No dinner for me, thanks. I'm heading in early." "Awww, it's just a game," she said. "No need to be surley." "I'm not", he said. "I need to rise early." "Suuurrre!", she said. "You and the proverbial 'birdy'."

He took a shower to wash away the day; It didn't help much. That golf game would 'stay'. His spirits were lifted, though, when he thought, "But hey!" And danced around saying, "Tomorrow's another 'golf day'!"

Copyright 2005 by Kevin D. Rolle. All rights reserved.

My name is Kevin D. Rolle, and I have a website called http://www.golf-humor-asylum.com which is dedicated to the humorous aspects of golf through a fresh, new golf comic strip called, "Divott and the Caddie Chronicles," and my commentary. Thanks.

In The News:
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table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/10/09/AR2008100902524.htmlcid=1255576780ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNEvR8BM6pZJIkMjlI-5os38ueLwrgimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=ILHlb8pFgBcJimgurl=media3.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/photo/2008/10/09/PH2008100902525.jpg width=54 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Washington Post/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2008/10/09/sports/GLF-Golf-Capsules.phpcid=1255576780ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNG58K80bUAnYLRGML8P8SC6U2V-VQbGolf/b Capsules/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fInternational Herald Tribune,nbsp;Francenbsp;-/font nobrOct 9, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Claxton and Browne, a three-time tour winner, had bogey-free 64s in sunny and warm conditions on La Cantera bGolf/b Club#39;s Resort Course. b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5gNL57ODFGO9ufgkCQC5fjCkPatVwcid=1255576780ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNFe0JFJ7PM2xJxEn9L8l5YvNSqpXgAussie Green seizes Texas Open bgolf/b lead/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrAFP/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.rte.ie/sport/golf/2008/1010/texasopen.htmlcid=1255576780ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNHvAqUlWfBvYjvUIg-Ent72zXRnTwGreen leads the Texas Open/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrRTE.ie/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.canada.com/montrealgazette/news/sports/story.html%3Fid%3Dd82bed4d-a7cc-4b2d-941e-faf3fef55a2bcid=1255576780ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNGCrPlou8WzZVPUWVWwVRK1mbA31QGreen leads Texas Open/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrThe Gazette (Montreal)/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1 class=pa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://ukpress.google.com/article/ALeqM5ioENhGMeLKexCb_lxamcLz8AZAqAcid=1255576780ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNHGS6FNe_NcxOy_wlfOEH6tVELcAgnobrThe Press Association/nobr/anbsp;- a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.pgatour.com/2008/tournaments/r041/10/09/thursday.transcript.browne/cid=1255576780ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNF2ZOZBRLmBxTWcImQxl3_e8xeStgnobrPGA Tour/nobr/a/fontbr/font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1255576780hl=ennobrall 272 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/20081012/NEWS08/810120322/1018/localnewsfrontcid=1256827654ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNHBScq5VKc5UcU-KDd9ibz0wu6xRwWounded troops learn bgolf/b anew/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fHonolulu Advertiser,nbsp;HInbsp;-/font nobr5 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Now the 62-year-old spends anywhere from 35 to 70 hours a week running bGolf/b Supports Our Troops, a nonprofit that raises money to donate bgolf/b equipment to b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.montgomeryadvertiser.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article%3FAID%3D/20081012/NEWS01/810120314cid=1256827654ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNE-z_ladwCAKEFrNk3aLiGgG0f9YgProject serves wounded warriors/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrMontgomery Advertiser/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1256827654hl=ennobrall 2 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.pga.com/2008/news/nationwidetour/10/10/wnb101008/cid=1256299341ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNGKlK6MQ8HTHAbTcWGZLuggmEltZgLeishman leads by three at halfway in Nationwide WNB bGolf/b Classic/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fPGA.comnbsp;-/font nobrOct 10, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Leishman, from Warnambool, a small, coastal Australian town with a fabulous bgolf/b course, had been playing well this year without getting the desired results b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.sportsnetwork.com/merge/tsnform.aspx%3Fc%3Dsportsnetwork%26page%3Dgolf-n/news/news.aspx%3Fid%3D4184706cid=1256299341ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNGeNNh97CjARqsJYjNxsnKeavzhrQLeishman extends lead in Texas/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrSports Network/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.sportsnetwork.com/merge/tsnform.aspx%3Fc%3Dsportsnetwork%26page%3Dgolf-n/news/news.aspx%3Fid%3D4184580cid=1256299341ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNFr1xijHannVQ9zB_1dyRRUxUpJjgLeishman leads by three in Midland/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrSports Network/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.pga.com/2008/news/nationwidetour/10/11/wnb101108/cid=1256299341ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNH_t0Ct0zP_Tq7ogOCwy76yLyNdmALeishman extends lead to five after 54 holes at Nationwide WNB Classic/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrPGA.com/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1256299341hl=ennobrall 16 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20081012/SPORTS08/810120349/-1/LIFE04cid=1256282652ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNHd-A_amup8s7AJz59-o6eWYagFbwBoys bgolf/b: Ottumwa rakes in two autumn titles/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fDesMoinesRegister.com,nbsp;IAnbsp;-/font nobr7 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Gardner beat Des Moines Lincoln#39;s Zach Steffen in a one-hole playoff Saturday to win medalist honors at the Class 4-A boys#39; bgolf/b tournament at Beaver Creek b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.messengernews.net/page/content.detail/id/509615.html%3Fnav%3D5017cid=1256282652ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNFQaR-RHZGMNR0jXLPV0M2pSu2GZADodgers wrap up state bgolf/b appearance/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrFort Dodge Messenger/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.timesrepublican.com/page/content.detail/id/511085.html%3Fnav%3D5010cid=1256282652ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNHOeflK4hCuCRoBtMKdktB3iPEulgButler makes day-two move at state/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrMarshalltown Times Republican/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.ottumwa.com/sports/local_story_285020709.htmlcid=1256282652ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNG6AUJY3zH5HqfdRX7pqL_oMWJFjAGolfers on top/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrOttumwa Courier/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1 class=pa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20081011/SPORTS08/810110348cid=1256282652ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNFLtJkZ7Az9YAMNA2GLFzrVGmC2YQnobrDesMoinesRegister.com/nobr/anbsp;- a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.messengernews.net/page/content.detail/id/509571.html%3Fnav%3D5017cid=1256282652ei=3yLySOmqJ6jk6gOnrri6AQusg=AFQjCNHh3Nyp-mvgL5CVtmyKfGlEUwhCYgnobrFort Dodge Messenger/nobr/a/fontbr/font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1256282652hl=ennobrall 9 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
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