|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
One of the great benefits of belonging to a health club is the huge variety of exercise equipment that's available. It's also a great place to meet and observe a wide cross section of society. Here are just a few of the more notable health club regulars:
1. Screaming Banshee ?- We've all been focused on our workout when out of nowhere comes a blood-curdling sound from the corner of the weight room. You look over and there's a guy doing laterals with 20 lb dumbbells. It doesn't matter what the exercise or weight is ?- he's screaming with every rep. If it helps his workouts, then more power to him! It certainly makes a good case for a Walkman.
2. The Strainer ?- The Strainer can often be observed loading up a barbell or weight stack with poundage that he is unable to perform even a single rep in good form with. A favorite exercise of the Strainer is the triceps press down machine. He will position the pin almost near the bottom of the weight stack and then proceed to wrestle the stack downward with every ounce of his being. It's truly painful to watch, but like a car wreck, it's hard to look away.
After using most all of the muscles in his upper body along with several in his lower, he finally manages to complete a rep. "That's one!" Yep, only nine more to go. Oh yeah, don't bother trying to be helpful and tell him to use less weight. You'll only be greeted with a nasty glare.
3. iPod Head Banger ?- this is usually a young person, male or female, who seems to have ear buds permanently implanted into their head. Music can be a great inspiration during your workouts, but these folks turn the volume up to 11. Of course everyone in the immediate area can groove to the same jams due to the sound leaking out from their ear buds.
The hazard is that Mr. or Ms Head Banger is usually oblivious to their surroundings and you'll need to shout to get their attention if the need arises. At least you can hear them coming and give them a wide berth.
4. Stanley Steamer ?- it's hard to believe, but there are people who actually use their gym memberships just to avail themselves of the locker room amenities. Take Stanley Steamer for example. He may come in on his lunch hour or after work and do some quick cardio work and then it's right back to the locker room. The cardio work is just a pretext for what comes next.
He then will do alternating shifts between the dry sauna and steam room until he's sweated out every last drop of water from his body. This process can go on for up to an hour. "Great for the pores!" he'll tell you as he stands there glistening like a Thanksgiving Butterball. You go Stan!
5. Ken and Barbie ?- there are some gym regulars who are so genetically gifted that they have gone into permanent "maintenance mode" for they're training. Their routines consist of a solid core of shaping exercises with the strict rule that they must never, under any circumstances, ever shed one drop of sweat!
No hair is out of place and they look spectacular in their Lycra workout gear. In fact, you seem to never see them wearing anything else, even outside of the gym.
6. Chatty Cathy ?- Cathy is a relatively new species that has evolved with the proliferation of cell phones and the trend to use them no matter where we are. She will take up position on the adductor machine and wait for a call ?- any call ?- which soon arrives without fail.
She'll talk away for minutes on end. Occasionally passing the cell phone to any friends who have joined her for a "workout". She'll use these breaks to get in a few reps on whatever machine she's parked herself on. Just to be fair and balanced, there are also plenty of Chatty Carls as well.
7. Swiss Ball Magician ?- this is usually either a personal trainer or staff member who has learned a large repertoire of stability ball exercises from a special course or secret training manual. I marvel at the endless variety of moves they possess!
They're on top of the ball, under it, along side it, between the legs with it, and around the back. They make the Harlem Globe Trotters look like pikers! Actually, I pay close attention when they're around and try to cop some of their moves.
All of these types are well-meaning folks and they are certainly preferable to some of the knuckleheads that sometimes show up at the gym. They make going to the gym the enjoyable and enriching experience that it is.
Rich Rojas
Elliptical Trainer Reviews and Fitness Ideas


Wind Chimes and more... ... Read More We all know the Internet is a great tool for... Read More I have heard the rumblings of many of you in... Read More I am currently perplexed by the concept of outgoing mail.... Read More This past week as Mr. Man and I lounged around... Read More When we decided to move to Mexico, one of the... Read More Space exploration came a long way since I was the... Read More We all want attention. As children we crave the attention... Read More I have recently become frustrated with something at doughnut establishments,... Read More I will start this by saying that yes, I did... Read More Do you believe in the power of your convictions?It's time... Read More It's time for me to announce that I have a... Read More A is for Anti-Virus: she got it from my Uncle.B... Read More With her Jamaican accent Miss Cleo, a self proclaimed psychic... Read More NOTE: This article was originally published in May 2000 at... Read More I went to the eye doctor the other day. I... Read More I've never really thought of myself as being funny. I... Read More Movie moments are nice things to share with the people... Read More I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark... Read More Joseph Yakel was born and raised in New York's Capital... Read More We... Read More LibraHit TV show 'The X Factor' is back on our... Read More Imagine my surprise when I went to Jamaica a few... Read More Today while driving I saw a young girl, probably around... Read More I cracked open the fortune cookie and read the little... Read More
Windchimes
for great gifts!
Cant Get There From Here
Discover the Lighter Side of the Internet
3 Surefire Ways To Combat Rising Gas Prices
[Not So] Outgoing Mail
He Had It Coming, Your Honor
Mexican Spaminator
Space, and the Room for It
How To Get Attention, or: As You Read This, You Feel an Irresistible Urge to Go On Reading!
Coffee Tips (and the Elimination Thereof)
I Got to Play an April Fools Joke Before I was Born
Laughing Toward Truth: Six Tips for Lighthearted Thinkers
When It Rains, It Pours: Creating a Plan
Computers According to Carol
Miss Cleo Was a Fake... NO - Really? YES Maaan!
Playing Go-Between in the Digital Age
To See Or Not To See
Dumb Luck
Nine Movies That Make You Want To Yell, Stop Saying That
A Dogs Guide To... Getting Your Dog to Stop Barking
Local Author Joins History and Humor To Tell His Stories
Marines Dont Take Crap
Your Stars Part 3
The Language of Appalachia
Sell [Your] Phones
Very Precise Fortune Cookies
"Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with... Read More
I've never really thought of myself as being funny. I... Read More
For me, the piano is the symbol of what is... Read More
Jimmy Jenkins Jr. is not an adventurer, traveler, or pioneer.... Read More
I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark... Read More
One of the best parts of a vacation is the... Read More
Imagine my surprise when I went to Jamaica a few... Read More
If you are a citizen of UK or Australia, you... Read More
Evidence of after-hours activity turned up at a Big Boy... Read More
Joseph Yakel was born and raised in New York's Capital... Read More
Here, for your barfing pleasure, are the top ten worst... Read More
I was given a list of Do's and Don'ts of... Read More
One of the great benefits of belonging to a health... Read More
My next-door neighbors found a human bone in their backyard.... Read More
Despite my diplomas that allowed me to teach in state... Read More
LibraHit TV show 'The X Factor' is back on our... Read More
A is for Anti-Virus: she got it from my Uncle.B... Read More
He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house... Read More
A couple of days ago I had to go to... Read More
When we decided to move to Mexico, one of the... Read More
Do you believe in the power of your convictions?It's time... Read More
Well, I hope you did not read that headline wrong,... Read More
I just turned on the news a minute ago and... Read More
Lately I've had the problem of falling asleep with my... Read More
In Southern Germany in a town by the name of... Read More
Humor & Entertainment |