Military Wives

I feel now is the perfect time to address the conflict service-members face when balancing between what they feel are infringements upon their civil liberties cast down by their president.

I have never been one to get involved with inter-service rivalries because I have always felt we must remain, "We band of brothers" and support and defend our own constitutions against all enemies, either foreign wives or domestic. (I am of course referring to wives in the singular sense.)

So let us, as Abraham Lincoln said, "Cast aside our differences" and as the modern day philosopher Marshall Mathers raps, "Let's get down to business. I've got no time to play around what is this."

You may be the senior man at work, but your wife is the Commander in Chief of the House or (CINCHOUSE). You say this because you believe in the immortal words of our 16th CINC, Abraham Lincoln when he said, "A house divided against itself is sure to fall."

You also know that it's not always advisable to follow the advice of our 1st CINC because, "Honesty is (NOT) always the best policy." If you chop down a cherry tree, in order to preserve good order and discipline, you don't tell the truth. You blame it on the kids because if you don't, she might draft a Declaration of Independence, throw you in the harbor, and declare a revolution.

You realize you have "No convening legal authority." If something goes wrong at home or a bill needs to be paid, Harry Truman summed it up best when he said, "The buck stops here." The buck always stops with you.

You need to "Walk softly and carry a big stick," of money because if you don't she's not afraid to drop the bomb on you. Two, if she has to and you're liable to be put, not in the White House, but impeached to the dog house. All the while proclaiming like Nixon that, "I am not a crook," and "You won't have me to kick around anymore."

It's at this stage you realize you serve at the discretion of the President and need to "Read her lips" and "Ask not what she can do for you but what you can do for her."

There's no need to, "Tear down that wall." Do your best to fit into her "Great Society" because you won't be getting a "New Deal."

You must sing, "Hail to the Chief" because in the immortal words of the great disco song, "She's a CINC ???..HOUSE!"

What military men need to realize is when you get married you pledge an oath to support and defend the constitution, but she will amend your constitution? There will be no hearings, and there will be not one vote. She has the bully pulpit and the mandate. All you can do is cry to your buddies, "Man, this is an infringement upon my rites."

There comes a time in every military man's career, usually the first day of boot camp or marriage when you realize you must "Obey the orders of the president and all officers (Her mother) appointed over me."

Needless to say, as it pertains to the institution of marriage. I have decided not to be a lifer. Someday a recruiter might be able to sell me on a lifetime self-commitment to the CINCHOUSE, but for now I prefer to be a conscientious objector.

Michael P. Westhead is the founder of www.cutthroatcomedy.com which features original quotes, jokes, cartoons, products, and articles focusing on politics, current events and life in general.

New York Daily News
Animated 'Click & Clack' lacks humor of real thing
Salt Lake Tribune, United States - 20 hours ago
But the show's humor seems forced and wooden. Lacking the spontaneous feel of the radio show, it all feels a little too predictable. ...
TV NOTE St. Charles Journal
Car Talk's' Click and Clack duo gets animated PBS show The Plain Dealer - cleveland.com
all 20 news articles

'An Ideal Husband': Same humor, new politics
San Francisco Chronicle,  USA - 43 minutes ago
An Ideal Husband: Comedy. By Oscar Wilde. Directed by Jonathan Moscone. With Julie Eccles, Michael Butler, Stacy Ross, Elijah Alexander, Sarah Nealis and L. ...

Hospital clowns spread healing humor
6abc.com, PA - 6 hours ago
Dr. Richard Wender specializes in family medicine - and the role of humor in healing. Every medical student at Jefferson has to take courses with Dr. Wender ...

Author Tom Samuels Combines Humor and Satire to Take Jab at Music ...
American Chronicle, CA - 4 hours ago
Tom Samuels´ book, Stop Making Music, contains 136 essays that deliver contrary opinions on the music business. They are written in the voice of an arrogant ...

Five humor hints on how to take control of your life by taking ...
Seattle Post Intelligencer - Jul 4, 2008
The next blog on the Boomer Consumer will discuss: Five Humor Hints on How to Deal With Jerks and Knee Jerk Reactions. Posted by Rita R. Robison at July 4, ...

Kia Motors Downplays Humor, Flash in Latest TV Ads
Orange County Business Journal, CA - 19 hours ago
It’sa move away from past humor-filled ads, where Kia tried to be more hip and woo buyers with punchy campaigns. One featured a sales spot that parodied the ...

Blog of the week: Love + derivatives = comedy
San Francisco Chronicle,  USA - 19 hours ago
"Saturday Night Live" it ain't - xkcd's humor is gentle, and it freely delights in erudition of all kinds. But in a world of crude, common humor, ...

Omaha clubs discover patrons tend to appreciate offbeat humor
Omaha World-Herald (subscription), NE - 22 hours ago
... bands to do something different," Nelson said, adding that Barry's style of edgy, offbeat humor should appeal to fans who attend concerts at Slowdown. ...

Teacher: You need humor, God, insurance
Muskogee Daily Phoenix, OK - 21 hours ago
By Travina Coleman Cindy Kane, a computer science teacher at Muskogee High School, has been living with lupus since her diagnosis in 1982. ...

A little humor sells
Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, PA - 22 hours ago
By Mark Russell To illustrate how seriously we Americans are taking this election, I note such products as "Vote for Hillary" thongs, as well as songs ...

Wind Chimes and more...

Windchimes for great gifts!

Got Originality?