Very Precise Fortune Cookies

I cracked open the fortune cookie and read the little slip of paper on the inside. Immediately I realized that it had been written by a weather forecaster.

"You will be approached in the late afternoon by a pink polka-dot octopus..."

It continued on the other side: "... and asked to provide details of your application for a yellow cloud mulching permit."

Two things struck me about this particular fortune. The first is that they have come a long way in their ability to predict exactly what will happen and when, just like weather forecasters. This is undoubtedly due to recent technological developments. Laser technology, for example. Nano technology. Robotics. Bioengineering. And so many other specialized fields have been developed to points of precision unimagined just a generation ago.

And it's not just the weather forecasters.

In London, Ontario, specialists are performing microscopic cardiac surgery on patients miles away using a robot named CSTAR (Can't you just wait for new parents to start naming their children after the famous surgeon, CSTAR?). This has opened up the door to many benefits, such as sending robots to remote locations without having to worry about a surgeon replacing the wrong organs due to jet lag.

But the real benefit was revealed when one surgeon confided in me: "You know the world is a better place when we don't have to scrub our hands before surgery anymore."

I can call anybody in North America on the telephone and they will answer in real time. Not only is this a better response than I can give people face-to-face, but the telephone cables direct my call to the exact person I want, saving the other 400 million telephone subscribers the inconvenience of having to say, "Wrong number...again!" Just a few decades ago, Switchboard Suzie was manually connecting everybody.

"Janice Land? No problem. I'll connect you." CLICK.

"No, wait. I wanted to speak to Janet Lam. Hello?"

My father can pinpoint the exact amount of blood sugar he packs in his veins. Not very long ago, people could not care less how much sugar was in their blood, as long as they had plenty of it in their double-fudge sundaes.

Yes technology has come a long way, allowing us to send and received very specific information in great detail and in great volumes, allowing such thrilling 21st century innovations as spam (I know, I know, the great spam innovators you admire most did their heroic deeds in the 20th century, but you ain't seen nothing yet!)

Despite the volume of information I receive in my inbox, there is one very disturbing element to all this extra free information, which brings me back to the second thing that struck me about my fortune cookie message.

It was wrong.

I waited all day for that pink polka-dot octopus to approach me, and it never did. Just because modern technology can deliver huge volumes of laser-detailed information, does not make that information valuable or even accurate.

Which brings me back to the revelation that a weather forecaster is now writing fortune cookies. Weather forecasts have become increasingly more precise. For instance, I am told that today it will hail in the town just east of here and be sunny in the town just west of here.

Once upon a time, the forecast would be simply "Sun and hail expected to pass through the region." Less accurate and less wrong. Just as useless, though.

Maybe we should hire CSTAR to make the fortune cookies. Surely CSTAR would deliver fortunes that are not only precise but also accurate, right? As a bonus, the pastry chefs won't have to scrub their hands before baking.

And I wouldn't have to wait for a pink polka-dot octopus all afternoon.

About The Author

David Leonhardt is author of Climb Your Stairway to Heaven

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/bookSearch/isbnInquiry.asp?ISBN=059517826X

Read more personal growth articles: http://www.thehappyguy.com/self-actualization-articles.html

Visit his liquid vitamins store: http://www.vitamin-supplements-store.net

Or his happiness website: http://www.thehappyguy.com

Info@thehappyguy.com

In The News:
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2008/11/18/minnesota-senate-recount-massive-logistical-task/cid=1272311565ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNFCqqEjGZpY6qy4Dn_eV3Rz_N9_Tgimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=jLl0YDjFOlQJimgurl=www.foxnews.com/politics/img/franken_colemansplit.jpg width=80 height=60 alt= border=1brfont size=-2FOXNews/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.fergusfallsjournal.com/news/2008/nov/22/touch-senate-recount-humor/cid=1272311565ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNFg4BUshUAkIIiJlb8WLjx3mbleiwA touch of Senate recount bhumor/b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fFergus Falls Daily Journal,nbsp;MNnbsp;-/font nobrNov 22, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1When I left my home on the lake to return to California I stopped at the post office. That must have been when someone put 2000 absentee ballots in my trunk b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DG1-cFnBD22Acid=1272311565ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNG6KGzW7IKhhByNA_34tTOtqbR6XgVideo: Recount Under Way in Minn. Senate Race/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrAssociatedPress/nobr/fontobject width=448 height=356param name=movie value=http://www.youtube.com/v/G1-cFnBD22A/paramparam name=wmode value=transparent/paramembed src=http://www.youtube.com/v/G1-cFnBD22Atype=application/x-shockwave-flashwmode=transparentwidth=448height=356/embed/objectbr/fontfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.independentmail.com/news/2008/nov/22/election-wont-quit/cid=1272311565ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNEvMdcXvQrTfP26ODCbxaFTYOYdSAThis amp; that: The election that won#39;t quit/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrAnderson Independent Mail/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.buzzflash.com/articles/election08/423cid=1272311565ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNFdfjZgGcEsFf3tsyPOU10g8US9rQMinnesota Senate Race Debacle Exposes Land of Bad Jokes and Lizard b.../b/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrBuzzFlash/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1 class=pa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.chaskaherald.com/news/national-politics/carver-county-recount-over-30-challenged-ballots-5478cid=1272311565ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNFY141LALOnFJDFDZYNIdMX8sEergnobrChaska Herald/nobr/anbsp;- a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.startribune.com/politics/state/34560824.html%3Felr%3DKArksi8cyaiUHK:uUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUUcid=1272311565ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNEdbWCa229ud2wUxE4hdtv-jKVhdwnobrMinneapolis Star Tribune/nobr/a/fontbr/font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1272311565hl=ennobrall 2,365 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.jsonline.com/entertainment/arts/34861739.htmlcid=0ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNH9CEdZMlGoCGrLEBhpgRpfm6DlKASkylight cast gets set to bhumor/b us/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fMilwaukee Journal Sentinel,nbsp;WInbsp;-/font nobr13 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1quot;The main goal for me is just to try to make it honest in its zaniness and Mel Brooks#39; outlandish sense of bhumor/b, but it is hard not to have a little bit of b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.readingeagle.com/article.aspx%3Fid%3D114844cid=1273465286ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNFq5M4_q5RnRCySeOaVx-qPjdza9AbHumor/b is a saving grace/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fReading Eagle,nbsp;PAnbsp;-/font nobr10 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1By Bruce R. Posten Saying grace when sitting down to eat doesn#39;t have to be a super serious and solemn occasion. Daniel Symonds of Reading frankly admitted b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://community.kompas.com/index.php/read/artikel/1656cid=0ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNEdvVkT8FrPFyHY1nfKGX2WmR-AmQimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=9pnI2gKPUagJimgurl=community.kompas.com/photo/image/1haha1.jpg width=78 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Kompas Cyber Media/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://community.kompas.com/index.php/read/artikel/1656cid=0ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNEdvVkT8FrPFyHY1nfKGX2WmR-AmQJ dan Sex bHumor/b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fKompas Cyber Media,nbsp;Indonesianbsp;-/font nobr12 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Satu hari Sultan merasa sungguh quot;boring n bete abisquot;, jadi dia tanya Bendahara, quot;Bendahara, siapa paling pandai saat ini?quot; quot;Abunawasquot; jawab Bendahara. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.naturalnews.com/024883.htmlcid=1271801450ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNH-AO9W1b45yJ4D8WKho8u0T63DgAUrine Recycling Aboard the Space Shuttle/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fNatural News.com,nbsp;AZnbsp;-/font nobr9 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1In the spirit of afterburner NASA toilet bhumor/b, I#39;ve released this CounterThink cartoon that wonders what happens to all the SOLID waste on board the Space b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,705264429,00.htmlcid=1272276527ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNHJDUsazfgUYr2pJtjli_xEMOVxuw#39;Bolt#39; and bhumor/b go missing in new Disney film/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fDeseret News,nbsp;UTnbsp;-/font nobrNov 20, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1But what it could really use is more bhumor/b. The digital comedy-adventure starts out pretty slow and never really finds its footing, especially in regards to b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DEzjf6G9npBUcid=1272276527ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNEhxkMxhEEEM28DPZPvpfexd6LqMAVideo: John Travolta Gets Animated/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrCBS/nobr/fontobject width=448 height=356param name=movie value=http://www.youtube.com/v/Ezjf6G9npBU/paramparam name=wmode value=transparent/paramembed src=http://www.youtube.com/v/Ezjf6G9npBUtype=application/x-shockwave-flashwmode=transparentwidth=448height=356/embed/objectbr/fontfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://movies.nytimes.com/2008/11/21/movies/21bolt.html%3F8dpccid=1272276527ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNExeVkcHKQhKIL9iipIA3DDaSODtwCanine TV Action Star Discovers That Life Is the Best Reality Show/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrNew York Times/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.lawrentian.com/home/news/2008/11/21/ArtsEntertainment/Elaine.At.The.Movies.Bolt-3552388.shtmlcid=1272276527ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNEa4S3u3ASfMqVq8TBmkT_4hTb6SAElaine at the movies : Bolt/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrLawrentian (subscription)/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1 class=pa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.ajc.com/services/content/printedition/2008/11/17/bolt.htmlcid=1272276527ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNHlaTDC_WX2OJIvZRwYa8w16IXF5QnobrAtlanta Journal Constitution/nobr/anbsp;- a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi%3Ff%3D/c/a/2008/11/23/BACB143Q4O.DTLcid=1272276527ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNHkIf4UIx1IOop4ls_e8T4ndbDZUQnobrSan Francisco Chronicle/nobr/a/fontbr/font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1272276527hl=ennobrall 595 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.boston.com/news/education/k_12/articles/2008/11/23/humorous_writing_has_its_place_in_schoolcid=0ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNHH-fp0QfCGrVTFxW6aBK9BAO1XJwHumorous writing has its place in school/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fBoston Globe,nbsp;United Statesnbsp;-/font nobr8 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1It#39;s instructive for an English teacher to hear students make the case for Sedaris#39;s bhumor/b and ironies, particularly when the gallows bhumor/b of Kafka or the b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-151705cid=1273119996ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNFlIZb7-UGKJjtHtbiqqO2HxPD-_wObama Political bHumor/b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fireportnbsp;-/font nobrNov 21, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1nation this week. You know, look, I don#39;t want to say things look bad, but Barack Obama#39;s new slogan? #39;Maybe We Can.#39;quot; --Jay Leno quot;It#39;s official. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.reuters.com/article/vcCandidateFeed2/idUSTRE4AH8BI20081118cid=1272210057ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNE5431WQt7DnZp5flmTg17_6ryCOgimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=68SK6qVQbVcJimgurl=www.reuters.com/resources/r/%3Fm%3D02%26d%3D20081118%26t%3D2%26i%3D6862002%26w%3D192%26r%3D2008-11-18T205629Z_01_BTRE4AH1M8900_RTROPTP_0_USA-POLITICS-OBAMA width=80 height=57 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Reuters/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/11/18/reid.dreesen.humor/%3Firef%3Dmpstoryviewcid=1272210057ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNEwd6zkU4IaOBxnD6Nrx5H0xdo7gQCommentary: Racial bhumor/b may never be the same -- we hope/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fCNNnbsp;-/font nobrNov 18, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Obama#39;s election represents a challenge to comedians who deal in racial bhumor/b. With a confident, eloquent black man in the White House, b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.reuters.com/article/vcCandidateFeed2/idUSTRE4AH8BI20081118cid=1272210057ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNE5431WQt7DnZp5flmTg17_6ryCOgWhite community adapts to Obama reality/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrReuters/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1272210057hl=ennobrall 47 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/262366cid=1273608275ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNHLbM2F1Z8SVb6xy8cUCvyZGLgF-wimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=OHBLV9Nx66kJimgurl=www.digitaljournal.com/img/8/7/8/i/4/4/5/o/obamabush.jpg width=80 height=52 alt= border=1brfont size=-2DigitalJournal.com/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/262366cid=1273608275ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNHLbM2F1Z8SVb6xy8cUCvyZGLgF-wOpinion: Political bHumor/b in the Obama Era/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fDigitalJournal.com,nbsp;Canadanbsp;-/font nobr20 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Comedians dating as far back to Don Rickles and George Carlin and up to Dennis Miller and Bill Mahar, have made a living using politically incorrect bhumor/b b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/262033cid=1273608275ei=An8pSe3XG4Lg6APBncVIusg=AFQjCNFQlmnBkzZ3_scGXY0Cpr9LV6MsFAOpinion: Obama and The Capitol City Citizens/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrDigitalJournal.com/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1273608275hl=ennobrall 2 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
humor - Google News

Cheer-Leadership or All I Need to Know About Business I Learned from Cheerleading

Thanks to teen movies, many people have this stereotypical idea... Read More

How To Marry A Wealthy Guy

How To Marry A Wealthy Guy(or Girl... Or at least... Read More

25 Reasons You Might Need to Wear a Welding Helmet

A welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection... Read More

Laughing Toward Truth: Six Tips for Lighthearted Thinkers

Do you believe in the power of your convictions?It's time... Read More

Fried Green Tomatoes Recipe

My next-door neighbors found a human bone in their backyard.... Read More

Humor Under The Keyboards

For me, the piano is the symbol of what is... Read More

Painful Lessons from the Maternity Ward

Whoever dubbed New York, New York "the city that never... Read More

Tales of a Spectator Spectator

Watching the fans at a minor-league baseball game is just... Read More

Miss Cleo Was a Fake... NO - Really? YES Maaan!

With her Jamaican accent Miss Cleo, a self proclaimed psychic... Read More

Stopping Bad Breath Bart

"Pee-ew! You smell like a skunk soaking in sardine nectar... Read More

Freudian Slippage

Saturday morning. I went, in the early morning, to the... Read More

How to Build a Cobblestone House

He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house... Read More

Pee Here Now

Several years ago, I switched health insurance companies and my... Read More

3 Surefire Ways To Combat Rising Gas Prices

I have heard the rumblings of many of you in... Read More

Sell [Your] Phones

Today while driving I saw a young girl, probably around... Read More

Norm Goldman Interviews Comedienne Fran Capo,the Guinness Book Worlds Record for the Fastest Talking

Today, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasures is delighted... Read More

Local Author Joins History and Humor To Tell His Stories

Joseph Yakel was born and raised in New York's Capital... Read More

Silver Linings Are Everywhere

Viagra. That one word packs a lot of punch. Let's... Read More

Coffee Tips (and the Elimination Thereof)

I have recently become frustrated with something at doughnut establishments,... Read More

If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart)

Banish Loans ForeverIf ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank... the... Read More

Humans are like Monkeys

Humans think much like monkeys and other primates, not much... Read More

Beyond Black and White

Over visiting a neighbor the other day?"Would you like a... Read More

Very Precise Fortune Cookies

I cracked open the fortune cookie and read the little... Read More

Dumb Luck

I've never really thought of myself as being funny. I... Read More

Funny Things We Dream

I often wonder why I wake up so happy, ready... Read More