|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Do you suffer from emotional clutter? Is suffering even the right word? Maybe it is, maybe a better description is 'living with' emotional clutter. Emotional clutter is like an addiction.
You carry your emotional baggage around thinking you can easily handle it, especially if you treat it like it doesn't exist. Eventually it reaches a point when you feel it's out of control, or even worse, you are out of control.
Learning how to 'let go' is the cornerstone of cleaning emotional clutter. It can be one of the most empowering experiences of your life. As you let go, you free up space to expand, unleashing the reasons why you hold onto your feelings.
Emotional clutter is a form of interference. When a river is blocked with trees, logs, bushes, etc. the water doesn't flow easily. The river begins to stagnate. So many people ask me why their lives are so difficult, why they always feel stuck. My answer is based on this same principle of the river being cluttered with debris.
Our emotional debris is like deadwood in the river. The more you remove and eliminate the deadwood, the better the flow. Generally we hold onto emotional clutter because there is fear, and often shame as well. When we finally make the decision to clear the deadwood, or debris, it means facing the fear and doing it anyway.
If your inner landscape is cluttered, your outer landscape may reflect that. Often people with emotional baggage collect material baggage in the form of clutter in their homes. Clearing the external clutter is marvelous, but unless you also clear the emotional clutter, you may be destined to repeat the cluttered house over and over again.
You may think that hanging onto things keeps you secure, so you don't feel loss and scarcity. In fact, that is far from the truth. We hold onto things because we already feel loss and scarcity. It only amplifies the feelings.
One of the first rules of manifesting abundance is to pay yourself first and to tithe 10%. Give it away, even if you feel you don't have enough. This is the act of trust. It shows faith in the knowledge that abundance will come back to you ten fold and there is abundance for everyone.
Holding onto clutter and emotional baggage may be the way you feel worth, or self confidence. It may be a false sense of strength and security. Remember, these are the times when you alone are holding the deadwood in place to block the river.
Many people are afraid to cry. They fear that if they simply let go then they will be washed away in an uncontrollable flood of tears. The truth is, once the dam is clear, there is an initial surge of water, eventually slowing to a steady flow.
It is the holding that causes so much pain. As you hold onto feelings, refusing to acknowledge them, you put yourself in a very tedious juggling act. You have assumed the role of guard, caretaker, juggler and strongman, not to mention judge and critic. There is plenty of fodder for the judge/critic to use to berate you and deem you unworthy.
Now all this could have been easily avoided, had you simply felt the feelings at the time of the incident. Sadly, the times we are really good at that are when we are very young. Something hurts = we cry, we're angry = we yell, stamp our feet, etc. I say this is sad because it is our ever-so enlightened society that has taught our parents to stop that process.
How many times have I heard in the grocery store a youngster being told not to cry, stop being upset, don't be angry, etc. This is when we learned to hold the feelings. This is when the dam began. Yes, we can thank our parents, but they were only doing their best with the same thing that happened to them when they were little. It is a societal pattern and it is rampant.
Learning how to let go is relatively easy once you know the steps:
1. Awareness
2. Intention
3. Choice
4. Action
These simple steps are used consistently in the process of releasing emotional clutter. Knowing how to use the tools is easy, it's actually the sorting needed to create the awareness that can be the most challenging part.
Sorting is the precursor to transformation and change. It is opening the door so that you actually have the awareness. This step can require assistance. It's difficult to do when you are standing in it.
It's like the TV series 'Clean Sweep' on TLC. Organizing professionals come into your home and help you sort your physical clutter. You can then have awareness, see your intention to change the situation, choose what you keep and what you eliminate, then take action by throwing things away or having a yard sale. The end result is usually two newly cleared, clutter-free and renovated rooms. You can see some emotional awareness happening, but remember, it took years of inner emotional cluttering to develop into these seriously cluttered homes.
The emotional changes do not happen overnight. There is a beginning sort and the first shades of awareness. Will the owners of the home return to their emotional habit of clutter? They may because their inner landscape was not cleared. Generally this inner clearing works differently. The inner clearing happens, and then the external cleaning happens as a result. The lasting effects are there because the people actually released the emotional deadwood creating the clutter in their homes.
It's simple, when we feel cluttered inside, we create clutter outside. One exception to this rule are the obsessive 'neat freaks.' They obsessively clean externally attempting to create inner order because they are so emotionally cluttered and may not know how to deal with the emotional deadwood. Either way, it is an act of control. We control our outer circumstances if we feel completely out of control on the inside. Or, we are so controlled on the inside, holding back the emotion that we are totally out of control on the outside. Which are you?
Of course, there is a third option, which we can all aspire to- the balanced person, centered, at peace within and living a clutter-free life. In fact, balanced people may be detached from material things. They have created an open space for flow. We can look at these folks with awe and amazement because they experience peace within. No longer is life about control and chaos, a battle between the inner and outer emotional life. It is now about peace and balance.
Which lifestyle would you prefer?
© 2004 Jodie Foster
Jodie Foster is an Intuitive Counselor who assists clients to create extraordinary transformations in their everyday lives. Her work is uplifting, empowering and success-oriented. You can visit Jodie's website at http://www.illuminationsnetwork.com for further information and to schedule a private intuitive session. You can also look for weekly updates to her blog at: http://intuitiveinnovations.blogspot.com.
Publisher's Guidelines: You may freely publish this article online, in email newsletters, or in print so long as the resource box and byline are in tact. Author would appreciate a notification, but that is optional.
Wind Chimes and more... All the ingredients to make 12 loaves of bread already... Read More I'm often asked the question, "How can I best help... Read More We all know the truism that "charity begins at home."... Read More If we want to fill our heads with the doom... Read More This is a message from an Angel. Can you relate?... Read More Have you stopped to think what your favorite quotes are... Read More One of the most important things we can do for... Read More Surfing is mindfulness in action. Riding the biggest waves is... Read More I have no idea how it started or who launched... Read More The greatest achievements were obtained by those who took one... Read More Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 5,... Read More Continued....When I turned 18 years old, I met a new... Read More Why is it so difficult to hold steadfast to a... Read More As year 2004 winds up and professionals and corporate bodies... Read More When it comes to meeting and conquering the negativity in... Read More Don't let anyone kid you. The road to self improvement... Read More Yesterday I was but a child, looking. Looking ahead at... Read More The bedrock of the Christian faith is the good news... Read More "We are built to conquer environment, solve problems, achieve goals... Read More I'm leaving on a TV tour in a few weeks.... Read More I wanted, for many many years, to be a mystery... Read More Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 10,... Read More What kind of bad habits do you struggle with? Most... Read More Wonders never cease. Just when those in our area of... Read More Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 21,... Read More
Windchimes
for great gifts!
Spiritual Bread Making
The Best Gift to Give Yourself and Others
Charity ? Give To Receive!
Anchors Away!
Message From An Angel - Is It Yours ?
Favorite Quotations... What Do They Say About Us?
Re-Developing Your Vision
Big-Wave Mindfulness: Surfing For A Connection
TIES that BIND
Arranging Stepping-Stones
Oldies
Everyone Has Been Hurt...Part 3
Patience - The Antidote for Stress
Charge Your Imagination (2)
Doing the Remarkable
Don?t Give Up!
Are You Really Living Your Life Today!
Moment of Grace
Taking Life Head On
The Angels on My Path
When Failure is a Gift
A Teller Of Tales
Struggling With Addictions
Beluga Whale Hits the River
Playing With Fire
Trouble, trouble, trouble. Nothing but trouble. The night before, I... Read More
At first glance, when tough times hit, it seems the... Read More
When was the last time you smiled at a stranger?When... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 2,... Read More
I have never been fond of white-water rafting, probably because... Read More
Something happened to me some years back that is worthy... Read More
These days, I find the lines are blurred between school... Read More
Much of our lives we spend comparing what "me" has... Read More
Exploring beneath the surface of a reoccurring relationship issue can... Read More
Change, no matter how you cut it, can certainly be... Read More
"How are you doing?" you ask. There's a pause before... Read More
Chorus: An' he said: "I went ski diving, I went... Read More
Each of us has two distinct choices to make about... Read More
It was way past 10:00 pm when I came home... Read More
Resistance is not a new word, but for many of... Read More
What If? What if I can't? What If I... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 13,... Read More
Who dares to teach must never cease to learn. -... Read More
The one question I keep coming back to is..."Am I... Read More
Most people like movies. Some, like me, are enthralled by... Read More
I walked out of his office inspired. All I could... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 3,... Read More
Whenever we are working on our dreams we are going... Read More
"We are responsible for everything in our lives, including how... Read More
I have always rather envied those people who have a... Read More
Inspirational |