|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Are beliefs not often the children of ignorance and fantasy? Consider the heavenly view of the world that young souls entertain at the height of their innocence, when their youth has been surrounded by love and filled with happiness. Hear their laughter. Dreams expand in a vacuity of knowledge like a laughing gas and induce the blindest, the purest joy. Ignorance is bliss, as they say, because it spares us the mental restraints associated with knowledge (which reveals the limits of reality and hence the impossibility of our fantasies). It is the ultimate playground where the mind can build castles in the air, create a wonderland, and live delightedly in this kingdom of reverie. It paves the way for the reign of error, as it leaves us to believe whatever we like. Everything that is desirable is realizable, if not real, until we find evidence to the contrary. Santa Claus eventually dies of our old age ? when we are no longer so young, so green, that we are easily fooled by a tall story.
In truth, however wise we may be, we are still at risk. We spontaneously indulge in fantasies about the world here below, which is never totally known, or the beyond, which is unknowable. We are always tempted to believe that our health, our relationships, our career, or any other part of our life, will be wonderful, or that our death will not be an end, but a passage from here to a paradisal hereafter. This temptation is irresistible for many when they discover a charismatic fortuneteller or spiritual leader who professes this belief, which remains unproven nonetheless. Our believing is then the result of ignorance and fantasy, plus faith.
An example of self-deceit that concerns young idealists and betrays their warm-blooded aspiration for perfect love is the illusive passion they often experience toward attractive members of the opposite sex whom they little know. By perfect love I mean a complete and durable harmony at every level ? physical, psychological, intellectual, and spiritual ? between two lovers. It involves friendship to a high degree, as the words "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" suggest. While it includes lust, it transcends and transfigures it.
Pop songs are common vehicles for this ideal, which entices many young souls. I am thinking of young men in particular, who are usually quick to fantasize about pretty young women and fall madly in love with them, or rather with a fantastical image of them. This quickness is typical of their ardent and imprudent youth. It needs nothing more than a few smiles and nods, a few gracious words of agreement, to make these young men imagine they have found a soul mate, as they pour out their inner self ? their sense of what is good, true, right, or sacred. A few auspicious signs and, voilŕ, they take the pretty young women for dream girls and are besotted with them! A few misleading signs, in fact. Every charm hides a cause for alarm.
If, in the struggle for survival and happiness, society is a cure for individual limitations (an imperfect cure to be sure, with side effects), it is also a pill hard to swallow. Civility is a smooth sugar coating that eases the swallowing. Give thanks to those who phrase their discontentment with delicacy and embellish it with a compliment and an encouragement. No nagging, no gagging. Sometimes civility excludes honesty and amounts to well-meaning or self-serving hypocrisy. It turns into servility through a mix of kindness and weakness, or through pure selfishness. One way or another, some people are fooled, kept in the dark, while they should live wisely, in the light of knowledge. They are denied truth: the opportunity to conceive of their true situation and achieve their true purpose. Young men, among the fantasizers I referred to earlier, are often lured by the social graces of pretty young women. The poor fish take the hook and eventually discover they have made a mistake, like many others in the same boat. The dream girls were ordinary maidens or vixens who first behaved and talked infinitely sweet, and later proved lovable in a limited way or revealed their sour temper.
A long intimacy is a good test of a couple's true nature. It always strips relationships of the silky appearance they sometimes have initially, when seduction overrides every other consideration. This appearance is superficial and deceptive like the outer layers of an onion. Once it is removed, after a succession of changes that marked a gradual return to naturalness, conflicts arise. The truth is uncovered; tears are shed.
Many young fantasizers part from their lovers at this point. They embark on another relationship until the next disillusion, the next dissolution, then embark on another relationship, and so forth. They do the same in other areas of life, starting this or that with high expectations and quitting upon the first difficulties, time and again. They never settle for less than perfection; they never build anything to speak of.
Some of these fantasizers stop this nonsense after a number of disappointments and finally change into brave realists. Their bravery distinguishes them from other disenchanted souls who give up hope to give in to laziness with a clear conscience. These defeatists confuse their attitude with realism and suffer nullity or mediocrity rather than fight for excellence, which is possible, unlike perfection. In their view, humans are in their element only when fantasizing, like fish when swimming. In fact, humans ? who are adaptable ? are closer to amphibians than to fish. They can come back to earth without dying of frustration, and even better, with a chance to live happily, thanks to a blend of struggle and resignation that yields joy and serenity.
Brave realists know and accept the conditions and limitations of happiness. They think it all the more precious as it has a high cost and is bound to be lost sooner or later. They also understand that although one may indulge in a fickle existence for a while, one must eventually commit and apply oneself to a particular relationship, study, or career, in spite of imperfections and difficulties, if one wishes to achieve something worthy of mention. Nothing good can come from a search for better that always leaves one thing for another.
Laurent Grenier's writing career spans over twenty years. During this time he has broadened and deepened his worldview, by dint of much reflection and study, and in the end has crafted "A Reason for Living," his best work to date.
Official web site: http://laurentgrenier.com/ARFL.html
Wind Chimes and more... I have a question for you.Who are you?This may be... Read More Whether it's a holiday, anniversary, birthday or a time in... Read More You're a remarkable person. But, you knew that already. Still,... Read More DREAM IT, CREATE IT, BECOME ITIf you've been reading my... Read More We all love picnics. They represent a fun time as... Read More There is one line that can dramatically impact your life... Read More Ju was physically abused as a child. She lived with... Read More Besides your daily feelings, thoughts, and experiences journal, there are... Read More Lance Armstrong has already proven he is the greatest athlete... Read More I'm a sucker for romance. I love movies where boy... Read More There is an old story that tells of a man... Read More "We are responsible for everything in our lives, including how... Read More The one question I keep coming back to is..."Am I... Read More Are you prepared to make your heart matter? Are you... Read More All you want is a little more.More money, more love,... Read More I am sharing one of the great insights.The fear that... Read More Matches are all about power; a new world opens up... Read More I write and talk a lot about dreams. Primarily because... Read More Robert was so strong that I once saw him pick... Read More When you fall, do you get right back up? Do... Read More People have a tendency of anticipating pending change on the... Read More I'm often asked the question, "How can I best help... Read More This is my new favorite quote. Now to understand it... Read More I have always wondered how the Red Sea parted as... Read More You know how images trigger emotions? You can see something... Read More
Windchimes
for great gifts!
Who are you?
How to Get Over Emotional Misery
The Brilliant You, Unreleased!
Dream Board
Food for Thought
The Most Famous Line I Never Wrote
Life lessons - An Inpirational Story
Journals You Can Keep
Lance Armstrong an Inspiration
Romance - Can It Last?
Go Ahead, Toss the Starfish!
Healing from Within
My Next Year With Jesus (Joyful Reflections On My Walk With The Lord)
Anam Chara - Healing the Heart Matters
Are You Tired of Being Stuck?
The Power of Inner SELF
Playing with Matches
Dont Die With Your Dreams Still Inside You
Imprisoned In Liberty?
Make Mistakes! Its Okay - Really!
Let Change Be Your Friend, Mentor, and Inspiration
The Best Gift to Give Yourself and Others
Trust the Lord and Go to The Hole
Tsunamis in the Bible?
Boarded Windows
Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 9,... Read More
Did you ever receive a gift in an unexpected place?I... Read More
CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE!"If there is light in the soul, there... Read More
Today more than ever before, we are witnessing a crises... Read More
In the moment of completing a thought or action, it... Read More
As soon as you have launched a strong desire, the... Read More
I am an Angel artist on a passionate spiritual journey... Read More
Exploring beneath the surface of a reoccurring relationship issue can... Read More
The early months of this year brought major challenges, as... Read More
Purpose. What is purpose? Drinking coffee when you wake up... Read More
Why does this happen?It's all to do with the way... Read More
A second on your lips forever on your hips never... Read More
I love the sounds of melting snow-plink, plink, ting, ting,... Read More
When all that you have done has not brought you... Read More
It is time to take responsibility for our actions and... Read More
As we progress into the year, it is necessary for... Read More
1. Retire the word "retirement" from your vocabulary. Look it... Read More
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 1,... Read More
1. Constant affirmation without accountability is a sure-fire way to... Read More
My best friend, Ryan, told me last night he got... Read More
Have you or do you know someone who has been... Read More
(Excerpted from the 2004 Jim Rohn Weekend Leadership Event)To really... Read More
In Corrogue I count my Blessings.These are numerous. There is... Read More
Lorenzo C. an inspiring young teenager who fell to the... Read More
Did you ever wonder how you ended up where you... Read More
Inspirational |