10 Ways to Reclaim Your Self-Esteem

The way you feel about yourself impacts how and why you do everything in life. If you feel good about who you are, then what you do will be an outside reflection of your innermost thoughts and feelings. Contrary to popular belief, self-esteem is not something anyone or any accomplishment can give you. Just because people like you or you receive an award, does not mean that you will love and take care of yourself. Positive self-esteem comes from within and does not change because the scenery or circumstances change. To have esteem for something or someone is to regard highly or favorably. High self-esteem is relatively stable even when the forecast looks foreboding.

Your self-esteem is like a star at night that shines brightest when it is the darkest. It is your inner light that burns brightly and freely no matter what is happening around you. A zen saying reminds us: "What was your original face before you were born?" Self-esteem is perfectly intact when we are born, in fact, it is inherent to us; however, it often diminishes over the course of our childhood. We lose a little of it whenever we fail, make mistakes, misbehave, feel guilty, refuse to forgive, neglect ourselves, and/or do things we are ashamed of. As an adult, we sometimes feel as if our "self" is in pieces--- that we are somehow not whole and complete.

This is not true. We are whole and complete even with our missing pieces and broken parts. We just need to decide to gather up ourselves up and become whole again. I am willing to bet that when you look back over your life, the first thing that comes to mind are the regrets, the sad times in your past. Do you see the pieces of yourself lying along the path of your life? The ones where you didn't feel good enough, or where you were criticized or blamed by someone else? But have you ever stopped to look at the memories of when you won the prize, felt really great, on top of the world----those moments that prove what a wonderfully amazing human being you are? Try it right now, write down 10 things you are most proud of.

It is your birthright to love and honor yourself. The good news is that you can reclaim that which is yours.

What follows are 10 Ways to Reclaim Your Self-Esteem:

1. Define life success

One of the most empowering things you can do for yourself is to define your criteria for life success. This requires reflecting on what the key elements are and the experiences you wish to have.

2. Choose to be happy

Happiness is a state of mind. The Dalai Lama says that the very purpose of life is to seek happiness. He believes that if you train the mind to be happy, you will be. Likewise, you can train yourself for higher self-esteem.

3. Set challenging goals

How much you like yourself is often reflected in the level of goals you will set for yourself. Generally, people who like themselves and feel valuable, set higher and more challenging life goals.

4. Honor your core values

When you live by a clear set of values, it is easier to align your life with what is most important to you. When you honor your core values, (those things you would fight for), you honor your true self.

5. Enhance your energy

People with high self-esteem seem to have a reservoire of energy, and seldom get sick or let life's set backs keep them down. Their energy and enthusiasm for life encourages them to take care of their body, mind, and spirit.

6. Maintain a positive attitude

Attitude determines your altitude. The more positive your thinking, the more positive your feelings, the more positive the outcome. There is nothing more powerful and creative than your thoughts, so you may as well make them positive and uplifting.

7. Be passionate

Passion takes hold of you and feels like "fire in the belly." It is a source of power that enables you to get fired about life and make a difference. The more passion and zest you feel, the more alive and brightly lit you are.

8. Live by vision and work with purpose

When you know your life vision and purpose, life has more meaning and direction. Vision and purpose provide a sense that you matter, that you have a part to play, and that you truly belong here.

9. Reward success

Set yourself up for success by breaking big goals into daily action steps and take time to acknowledge and celebrate the small successes. This will feed your need for recognition and provides the extra push to keep you moving forward.

10. Make smart life decisions

When you care about yourself, you make smarter decisions. You take care to choose the right mate, occupation, and lifestyle that support you.

Self-esteem is an inner state that can be nurtured and cultivated. The National Association for Self-Esteem (NASE) defines self-esteem as the experience of being capable of meeting life's challenges and being worthy of happiness. That definition underlines two key things: going after goals and choosing happiness. Another definition is the level that you respect and value yourself as a loveable, worthwhile human being.

Your self-esteem contributes to your vitality, energy level, persistence, and personal magnetism. It is not to be confused with "self-image," which is the comparison of those around you. Self-image is about what is on the outside and causes you to judge yourself and others. It changes whenever the wind blows. This fosters competition and fragmentation.

Self-esteem is about what is on the inside, a belief in yourself and your abilities. Positive esteem focuses on acceptance of self and others. It remains constant despite the storm. This fosters cooperation and wholeness.

It is common to have high self-esteem in one area of life, like career, but not in others. The highest form of self-esteem is when you can accept all of yourself---- strengths, weaknesses, best/worst parts, and overall, still feel good about who you are and what you do. Someone with a strong sense of worth will believe in herself, take more risks, say and do nice things for self and others, can let things go, not take everything so personal, forget the bad and focus on the good in life.

How do you feel about yourself right now?

10: perfectly happy with my whole self

to 5: moderately happy with my whole self

to 1: not at all happy with my whole self

If you are less than a 10, commit to using one of these tips today and feel your esteem rise, create a stronger sense of self, and reclaim your inner power. You deserve to feel great!

About The Author

Michelle L. Casto is a Whole Life Coach, Speaker, and Author of the Get Smart! LearningBook Series. Her coaching practice is Brightlight Coaching, she helps people come up with bright ideas for their life and empowers them to freely shine their bright light to the world. Visit virtually: www.brightlightcoach.com or www.getsmartseries.com. Call for a Complimentary Coaching session (361) 816-0685.

coach@brightlightcoach.com

In The News:

table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/12/03/AR2008120300446.htmlcid=1277046728ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNFkw7Dc-aabfDWABXsRzQKBp4TJvgimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=n4llAStNxT4Jimgurl=media3.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/photo/2008/12/03/PH2008120300447.jpg width=50 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Washington Post/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jMmEGIJahMhaousdkCt-fO9lY9MAD94R50500cid=1277046728ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNEDF4m6IqymbXetAMWqy2QcoP1v3wPistons#39; Wallace uses technical foul as bmotivation/b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fThe Associated Pressnbsp;-/font nobr10 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Sometimes he even uses them as bmotivation/b. After being hit with a technical with 15 minutes remaining, Wallace scored 17 points, including three 3-pointers b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.sportingnews.com/yourturn/viewtopic.php%3Ft%3D492961cid=1277046728ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNFFM0e-ECQe7LtAF7Ug3wEJ_0xDdAIverson, Wallace lead Pistons past Spurs/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrSportingNews.com/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1277046728hl=ennobrall 402 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www3.signonsandiego.com/stories/2008/dec/02/chargers-notes-/%3Fchargerscid=1276889992ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNFbQ5lLrMFB6Jc7Ndkw2AXTwhzygwFacing Raiders on national TV will serve as bmotivation/b Thursday/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fSan Diego Union Tribune,nbsp;CAnbsp;-/font nobr16 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1And while they technically do, they also are searching for other reasons to be up for Thursday night#39;s game against Oakland (and the three that follow it), b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/huskies/390211_husk02.htmlcid=1276517838ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNE2_Uma5s8KWw51cND17qckkFFYXADawgs digging deep to find last-game bmotivation/b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fSeattle Post Intelligencernbsp;-/font nobrDec 1, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Finding bmotivation/b figures to be a challenge for a squad coming off a 16-13 double-overtime loss in its rivalry game. Willingham insisted he won#39;t use his b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/huskies/2008457491_uwfb02.htmlcid=1276517838ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNFQKru2S6jkRMsm4vMgdGpGfEOynQUW to get close look at Jeff Tedford/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrSeattle Times/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1276517838hl=ennobrall 17 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.kvue.com/news/local/stories/120208kvue_Get_Motivated-cb.2366e8fc.htmlcid=1276915717ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNEUgRW4zphcamgS4xXgZhcXJTUO-gThousands descend on Austin Convention Center for bmotivation/b seminar/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fKVUE,nbsp;TXnbsp;-/font nobrDec 2, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1By QUITA CULPEPPER Organizers say it#39;s a way to get inspired and find the secret to your success, while hearing from a dream team of successful politicians b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.newsday.com/sports/football/ny-skpiner035950370dec03,0,5047493.storycid=1277101699ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNE6Gj1a2qFT_tm-caDPxFN93p5ZsAJansen wins Piner award as Nassau#39;s top LB/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fNewsday,nbsp;NYnbsp;-/font nobr11 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1For Wantagh#39;s John Jansen, who took home the Piner Award as Nassau County#39;s top linebacker on Monday night, the bmotivation/b to be the best was in part a b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.statesman.com/business/content/business/stories/other/12/03/1203seminar.htmlcid=0ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNH-zel1_myEDC5f2qhLOHQpsBnyaAAustin businesspeople seek bmotivation/b in hard times/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fAustin American-Statesman,nbsp;TXnbsp;-/font nobr14 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1By Lori Hawkins When Gregg Linberg heard an ad touting an upcoming daylong bmotivational/b seminar, he decided it was just what he and his co-workers at b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/30/sports/ncaafootball/30sooners.html%3Fref%3Dncaafootballcid=1275991075ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNHJZ6NGr2c0uL3a_cka2kAIYg2rjwimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=pYe__sbbfdkJimgurl=graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2008/11/30/sports/30sooners-span-600.jpg width=80 height=53 alt= border=1brfont size=-2New York Times/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.tulsaworld.com/site/articlepath.aspx%3Farticleid%3D20081203_92_B1_NORMAN70543%26allcom%3D1cid=1275991075ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNFGH2X8KjPOhfec02zTwtSzeDPgowFrankly, OU has no reason to apologize/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fTulsa World,nbsp;OKnbsp;-/font nobr11 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1quot;So I think it might give us a little extra bmotivation/b.quot; The negative backlash the Sooners have felt ever since Sunday#39;s announcement that they had edged b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.sportingnews.com/blog/the_sporting_blog/entry/view/15186/the_alphabetical_college_football,_week_14cid=1275991075ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNEv4KHdQcOZtrDPb3pFhLsMfg-Q2QThe Alphabetical: College Football, Week 14/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrSportingNews.com/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.thenewsenterprise.com/cgi-bin/c2.cgi%3F053%2Barticle%2BSports%2B2008120202637053005cid=1275991075ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNFtx6J22JKH6wW5qHaz6f7i9h64XQCOLLEGE SPORTS OPINION: Is Pettigrew still not good enough? (12/2)/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrNews Enterprise/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.muskogeephoenix.com/sports/local_story_337000703.htmlcid=1275991075ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNFRS2m0fhUa4JkVIuJnzJjvwTd7CADebate’s over: It’s your move now, Mack/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrMuskogee Daily Phoenix/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1 class=pa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.enidnews.com/sportslocal/local_story_334010859.htmlcid=1275991075ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNFLizakWxm5OMo_ZJaX_PVqcHPexwnobrEnid News Eagle/nobr/anbsp;- a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/couriernews/sports/1303712,3_2_EL28_B8COLLEGE_S1.articlecid=1275991075ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNF7fYuca3f1fggsneghzbUqKMEzXwnobrThe Courier News/nobr/a/fontbr/font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1275991075hl=ennobrall 2,343 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,12010_4579303,00.htmlcid=1275860959ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNFHVqkMvIUUvhIJLaBcm5r3SyZdjAimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=QkxU77i7jEUJimgurl=img.skysports.com/08/05/218x298/Barry-Gareth_906608.jpg width=59 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2SkySports/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,12010_4579303,00.htmlcid=1275860959ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNFHVqkMvIUUvhIJLaBcm5r3SyZdjABarry reveals England bmotivation/b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fSkySportsnbsp;-/font nobrDec 2, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1By Chris Burton Last updated: 2nd December 2008 Gareth Barry admits that four years in the international wilderness made him all the more determined to earn b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.exchangemagazine.com/morningpost/2008/week49/Wednesday/1203012.htmcid=0ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNGO2li-HyhwvhIeoKfhKNkJVy9adwquot;Keep the Moquot;: Daily bMotivation/b Builds Momentum/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fExchange Morning Post,nbsp;Canadanbsp;-/font nobr5 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1While most leaders believe bmotivation/b is the key to any organization#39;s success, many struggle to keep their people motivated on daily basis. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.forbes.com/markets/2008/12/01/opec-oil-update-markets-commodities-cx_ll_mlm_1201markets36.htmlcid=1275582631ei=xt82SfewE5XM8ATa-PSxDwusg=AFQjCNHuCxkPLx77D8F63WYyDJ7dQsWiQQOPEC Cuts: A Barrel Of Laughs/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fForbes,nbsp;NYnbsp;-/font nobrDec 1, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1quot;The major bmotivation/b for sellers is the discounting of the OPEC decision,quot; said Mike Fitzpatrick, vice president of MF Global, in a report, quot;but bmotivation/b b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
motivation - Google News

Training Your Mind to Help You

Our friend, singer and songwriter Chuck Pyle, likes to say,... Read More

9 Ways to Motivate Yourself When You Just Dont Feel Like It

Achieving the really big goals and dreams always involves breaking... Read More

Beyond Procrastination ? 8 Questions To Ask Yourself

Why am I constantly putting things off? Why don't I... Read More

Full Steam Ahead, Just Dont Go Off Half Cocked!

Do you do things that you don't want to do?... Read More

Self Confidence: How To Build Your Confidence In Three Simple Steps

To Feel Confident ? A C TA new, more exciting... Read More

Create Your Destiny - How Massive Action Can Determine Your Destiny!

We often hear that "Knowledge is Power". Is it really... Read More

Keep On Keepin On

In those times when everything seems to be going just... Read More

Why Idle Hands Create Stagnation in Our Lives

You've probably heard the phrase, "Idle hands are the devil's... Read More

Increase Your Energy!

It was only about 18 months ago that I could... Read More

Secrets to Motivating Yourself and Others

There is hardly anything more personal that what motivates each... Read More

How to Get rid of the ?Overwhelm? Monster

If you wear many hats, manage a family and/or a... Read More

Anchors Away!

If we want to fill our heads with the doom... Read More

Getting What You Really Want

Everyone wants something in life, love, money, success, recognition ...... Read More

How to Use the Power of Words to Your Benefit - Part II

A friend of mine read the article, How to Use... Read More

Stretch!

"Only as high as I reach can I grow, Only... Read More

Are You Suffering from the Autopilot Dilemma?

An epidemic is occurring all around you, and there is... Read More

Want Real Change in Your Life? Take Action!

It's easy to begin a year with analysis: months, days... Read More

Elements of Change

The key to achieving more than you currently are, no... Read More

Self-care Isnt Being Selfish

When was the last time you truly relaxed? Do you... Read More

Are You a Right-Fighter?

Are You a "Right-Fighter"?Do you find yourself struggling to "win"... Read More

No Regrets

MY FOUR-MINUTE DANCING CAREERA few years ago, I decided to... Read More

What is Success?

Everyone wants success. People talk about setting goals and positive... Read More

Fear of Failure

The fear of failure is more deadly than failure itself.... Read More

What?s in Your Blind Spot?

We frantically search for our "lost" keys that are lying... Read More

7 Magical Ways To Stop Procrastination

There are a number of techniques to help you stop... Read More