Motivation: How to Get Unstuck -

Home
>
Motivation
>
Motivation: How to Get Unstuck

Motivation: How to Get Unstuck

Have you ever felt stuck?

You know the feeling - you're not happy with a situation, you know it could be better, you've even tried to make it better. But all of your best efforts still end with the "same old-same old" feeling - STUCK!

Well, you are not alone, it's a very big club.

In fact, when I ask this question in seminars, just about everyone raises their hand. I have a strong suspicion hose who don't raise their hand are the folks who would never raise their hand in public no matter what I ask.

If so many folks feel this way, then why aren't more people finding ways to get unstuck. The simple answer is that we are not taught how to solve this problem. There's isn't a course that I'm aware of called Getting Unstuck 101.

So we wind up doing the same things, that don't work, over and over again and expect different results. It's similar to what we do when we get our car stuck in the sand, mud or snow: if we don't get out on the first try, we spin our wheels, digging the hole deeper and deeper and we get "stucker and stucker."

Another good illustration of staying stuck can be found in a story called "What to Do When Your Horse Dies."

If the horse you've been riding has died, then get off the horse!

But instead of getting off, we try:

?buying a stronger whip
?switching riders
?trying a new bit or bridle
?moving the horse to a new location
?saying "this is the way we've always ridden this horse"
?form a commission to study the horse
?visit other places where they ride dead horses more efficiently
?blame the horse's parents
?complain about the state of horses these days."

Why in the world would we try any of the above solutions with a dead horse? Yet we do it all the time. In our stubbornness, we keep trying to solve a problem with the exact same kind of thinking that created the problem in the first place.

How to Get Un-Stuck

Now for the good stuff - the tools and solutions. Here are just a few suggestions:

Albert Einstein said it much better than I ever could: "You can't solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created the problem."

We all can change our thinking by asking better questions.

Change the lame sounding-dead roach-victim whining "why does this always happen to me-it's not fair-what did I do to deserve this" garbage question to "in how many ways can I creatively get unstuck while benefiting myself and others and enjoy the process?"

Use unusual, creative, silly, never-tried-it-that-way-before solutions. Remember that "every unattempted solution fails."

Ask for help. I know this idea sounds so un-American-I can do it myself-I can handle it-I don't need any one-proud and independent blather, but it works, just about every time. Just make sure you ask the right people: instead of asking those that are just as stuck as you, ask those who have been where you are and found their way to the other side.

A word of caution, however. While there is much to gain by getting un-stuck, there are a few things you must be prepared to give up as well. Things like:

?not being responsible/accountable for where you are
?no one expecting anything from you
?the helpless victim role
?the security and safety of the familiar

But if you are ready to give these things up, then let's get going, it's time to get unstuck and go live. It's like the old saying, "a ship is safe in the harbor, but that's not for what ships are made."

Happy sailing, and keep the change!

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

In The News:

table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.minnpost.com/community_voices/2008/10/10/3832/minnesota_education_motivation_matterscid=1256085421ei=Xj3wSJHzLoLg6AOD_I2-Bwusg=AFQjCNHcNOeXqCoaAXW0rcvrqh584g202AMinnesota education: bMotivation/b matters/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fMinnPost.com,nbsp;MNnbsp;-/font nobr17 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1But neither strategy will produce large gains in student achievement unless we add a third leg to the stool: increasing students#39; bmotivation/b to learn. b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail%3FcontentId%3D7615316%26version%3D2%26locale%3DEN-US%26layoutCode%3DTSTY%26pageId%3D3.2.1cid=1256085421ei=Xj3wSJHzLoLg6AOD_I2-Bwusg=AFQjCNHY8StebzRuR7MIzvd3xDNBAg3FrgSt. Paul Teacher Investigated for Sexual Conduct with Minor Claim/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrFOX 9 News/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1256085421hl=ennobrall 2 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table

table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/sports_college_ucf/2008/10/daly-has-person.htmlcid=1256072015ei=Xj3wSJHzLoLg6AOD_I2-Bwusg=AFQjCNG6dkItsfxCEn3uEOLGVBk0RXVgcgimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=dEdXuLKvxcQJimgurl=blogs.orlandosentinel.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/10/10/daly_2.jpeg width=57 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Orlando Sentinel/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/sports_college_ucf/2008/10/daly-has-person.htmlcid=1256072015ei=Xj3wSJHzLoLg6AOD_I2-Bwusg=AFQjCNG6dkItsfxCEn3uEOLGVBk0RXVgcgDaly has personal bmotivation/b to beat Miami/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fOrlando Sentinel,nbsp;FLnbsp;-/font nobr17 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1No one may have greater bmotivation/b to topple Miami this week than UCF starting kicker Daren Daly. Last season, Daly was on the Miami roster and had a b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://blogs.sun-sentinel.com/sports_college_hurricanes/2008/10/ucf-q-a.htmlcid=1256072015ei=Xj3wSJHzLoLg6AOD_I2-Bwusg=AFQjCNGj_0ENVraGStMvPiLsLY7Z3fUO4gUCF Q amp; A/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrMiami Hurricanes/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1256072015hl=ennobrall 8 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table

table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://news.stv.tv/sport/33620-quiet-pavilk-vows-to-lets-his-fists-talk-vs-hopkins/cid=1255761463ei=Xj3wSJHzLoLg6AOD_I2-Bwusg=AFQjCNHZtpr_CTcIZYfN_RpXK0oYgz2Z_wimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=HQ9-5SCRw58Jimgurl=news.stv.tv/assets/img/feedImg/33620-quiet-pavilk-vows-to-lets-his-fists-talk-vs-hopkins-200.jpg width=80 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2stv.tv/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/10/09/2386198.htm%3Fsection%3Dsportcid=1255761463ei=Xj3wSJHzLoLg6AOD_I2-Bwusg=AFQjCNGh1-d_tlP6azB3B7jF0YtCx0Jh_AHopkins concedes money is chief bmotivation/b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fABC Online,nbsp;Australianbsp;-/font nobrOct 8, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1quot;My bmotivation/b is back pay,quot; said Hopkins, who meets middleweight champion Kelly Pavlik in a catchweight contest in Atlantic City on October 18. b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.boxingscene.com/%3Fm%3Dshow%26id%3D16340cid=1255761463ei=Xj3wSJHzLoLg6AOD_I2-Bwusg=AFQjCNHij8EKNJSauJWEwVRSPRQHDKtf4QKelly Pavlik, Bernard Hopkins Media Interview Transcript/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrBoxingScene.com/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/sport/archives/2008/10/11/2003425582cid=1255761463ei=Xj3wSJHzLoLg6AOD_I2-Bwusg=AFQjCNH5OrPBJ0KvCFQFSFtriQVat_MvJQPopular Pavlik still drawing crowds/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrTaipei Times/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1255761463hl=ennobrall 55 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table

table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.pr.com/press-release/110277cid=1256094150ei=Xj3wSJHzLoLg6AOD_I2-Bwusg=AFQjCNHOTf1GYHajK1yy1hBvW3WdDB9AOwimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=VAt13K3-1nQJimgurl=img.pr.com/release/0810/46476/pressrelease_46476_1223569777.jpg width=65 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2PR.com (press release)/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.pr.com/press-release/110277cid=1256094150ei=Xj3wSJHzLoLg6AOD_I2-Bwusg=AFQjCNHOTf1GYHajK1yy1hBvW3WdDB9AOwGlobal Survey Shows Employees in US Lead English Speaking b.../b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fPR.com (press release),nbsp;NYnbsp;-/font nobr22 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1b.../b 56.5% of New Zealanders and 56.4% of respondents from the United Kingdom weighed in with a positive response to the bmotivation/b question. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table

motivation - Google News