Dont Be Afraid Of Silence

In any conversation with two or more people, there is a tendency to want to talk all the time to fill any awkward silences or gaps that appear in a conversation.

However, if you think of the conversations that you have with your closest friends or family, you will notice that there isn't the same need to fill these gaps, as silences between you are comfortable. This is generally because you know the other person and the type of character that they are.

Now, if we change this scenario to the sales process you will see that it is a completely different feeling to the one above. Suddenly silence is your worst enemy, the one thing to be avoided during negotiations, the realisation that you are losing the sale.

Well actually, that last statement is completely wrong!

Because a person does not say too much during negotiations does not mean that you are losing the sale. Yes, silence can be awkward to some but to those of you who want to win, silence can be your best friend.

During the negotiations, you will ask your customer a number of open questions and that is absolutely the right thing to do. However once you have asked the question, DO NOT fill the space! Resist the temptation to put words into their mouth.

In other words:

"Ask your open question and then say absolutely nothing until they have replied"

No matter how awkward it becomes or how uncomfortable it may seem, leave your customer to reply. If it takes 5 minutes then so be it. They MUST be allowed to reply in their own time without any help from you.

The reason I am pushing this point is that customers (and people in general) do not like silence. They particularly do not like long silences and they feel that they have to fill the space up with words. Before you know it they have committed to all sorts of things.

So, don't be afraid of the silence and let your customers talk their way into your sale.

Mark Anthony Harrison is a salesman. He is Head of Sales for the UK division of a US investment bank. He also lectures on sales development and management theory. To find out more visit him at http://www.managing2success.com

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table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/financetopics/financialcrisis/3160727/Hope-for-Wachovia-deal-as-Citigroup-extends-ceasefire.htmlcid=1255363795ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNEWext-8fD4g2VbJdStZ9cOjZyqcwimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=f227PTDLCHYJimgurl=www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01006/wachovia_1006344f.jpg width=80 height=50 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Telegraph.co.uk/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://newsticker.welt.de/index.php%3Fchannel%3Dfin%26module%3Dsmarthouse%26id%3D791689cid=1255363795ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNFmNNbOA04CjnBpyx4ub5FRAK4Y4ACiti Ends bNegotiation/b with Wells Fargo on Wachovia Transaction/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fWELT ONLINE,nbsp;Germanynbsp;-/font nobrOct 9, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Citi announced today that it had reached no agreement with Wells Fargo following several days of discussions about matters related to Wachovia. b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.thedeal.com/dealscape/2008/10/breaking_citi_ends_negotiation.phpcid=1255363795ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNElUFIIoE5o4bUqWCpPR21ixsbQXQCiti ends bnegotiation/b with Wells Fargo on Wachovia/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrThe Daily Deal (subscription)/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://dealbook.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/10/08/half-time-lessons-from-the-battle-for-wachovia/cid=1255363795ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNEN1be9BPZLM0zTOqvOBDX-dLSzdAHalf-Time Lessons From the Battle for Wachovia/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrNew York Times Blogs/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jjz5Hb-Nmj1z9ke5S6hdsfGtSf1AD93MK85O0cid=1255363795ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNGlHJ5sDAj7pFf9U6_OJ7FNIFJnAwFed works toward an agreement on Wachovia/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrThe Associated Press/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1 class=pa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news%3Fpid%3D20601103%26sid%3DaelpxtXunWgk%26refer%3Duscid=1255363795ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNEU87Sabsaj6UmI2Abv5B8_5zDa8gnobrBloomberg/nobr/anbsp;- a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www2.journalnow.com/content/2008/oct/09/091740/citigroup-says-it-will-quit-its-fight-wachovia/news/cid=1255363795ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNFFzdmpUSSbKmjg7bJVS6bLh6FAKAnobrWinston-Salem Journal/nobr/a/fontbr/font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1255363795hl=ennobrall 3,344 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
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table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathleen-reardon/nearly-as-far-fetched-as_b_132321.htmlcid=1256755934ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNH_eY6Yfmi0AZ4moM9nl-eSEoJI_QNearly As Far-Fetched As The Maverick Lie -- bNegotiation/b Preconditions/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fHuffington Post,nbsp;NYnbsp;-/font nobrOct 6, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1First, it#39;s either naive or a fabrication when McCain suggests Obama will suddenly pop up at a bnegotiation/b with the leadership of Iran. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.tehrantimes.com/index_View.asp%3Fcode%3D179753cid=1256627860ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNE3mqOA5uht-UH8Wi5uyoy9BM2qaAIran’s letter to Solana shows dissatisfaction with 5+1/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fTehran Times,nbsp;Irannbsp;-/font nobrOct 11, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1The first response was that Iran was accused of being angry and not inclined to bnegotiation/b, whereas the main point of this letter was an invitation to b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/10/06/AR2008100600685.htmlcid=1254381410ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNG-vTcU5414UdIZDgzat49BoOZ4_Aimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=OvHsCg6vS-cJimgurl=media3.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/photo/2008/10/06/PH2008100600687.jpg width=80 height=53 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Washington Post/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.washingtoninstitute.org/templateC05.php%3FCID%3D2937cid=1254381410ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNHZMJ4j7q1zvcP3E-LWXXbY216EvQ2008 Scholar-Statesman Award Dinner/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fWashington Institute for Near East Policy,nbsp;DCnbsp;-/font nobrOct 10, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1I don#39;t think one can hide behind bnegotiation/b. I think bnegotiation/b has to be part of the process. Satloff: As somebody who lived through the threats of b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://thepost.com.pk/IntNewsT.aspx%3Fdtlid%3D186808%26catid%3D1cid=1254381410ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNHWRzl1GP4ORG_5IC3wIQzpgjpDsARussia won’t sell missiles to Iran/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrThe Post/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1254381410hl=ennobrall 658 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.thecabin.net/stories/101208/loc_1012080011.shtmlcid=1256943986ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNHSPs35vPl96k1lnJRMYSgXwUKA_QConway Development Corp., HP finalize agreement/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fLog Cabin Democrat,nbsp;ARnbsp;-/font nobr6 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Attorney Bill Adkisson, chair of the CDC board, was involved in the legal bnegotiation/b, along with attorney Gordon Wilbourn of the city bond council, b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.columbusdispatch.com/live/content/local_news/stories/2008/10/12/teacher_pay.ART_ART_10-12-08_A1_H0BIPF8.html%3Fsid%3D101cid=1254005434ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNHfAIbrlixdIhGc_91zq_pdbv8AxAimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=9kzp2Unn2VIJimgurl=www.columbusdispatch.com/wwwexportcontent/sites/dispatch/images/oct/teacher_pay_10-12-08_A4_QMBI4M9.jpg width=80 height=56 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Columbus Dispatch/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.hometownlife.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article%3FAID%3D/20081009/NEWS22/810090548cid=1254005434ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNEsKb1Di_3NKJVBCsk1cvfOTZMyJQFluidity needed in school bnegotiations/b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fMirror,nbsp;MInbsp;-/font nobrOct 9, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1There are some daunting realities built into the bnegotiation/b process this year that haven#39;t been seen in past bnegotiations/b, one namely being the economic b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.suburbanchicagonews.com/genevasun/news/1212071,au09_teacherrally_s1.articlecid=1254005434ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNHH6-QMl37rY8VLAVVXrVYeLv6ntAKaneland teachers plan demonstration/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrGeneva Sun/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.columbusdispatch.com/live/content/local_news/stories/2008/10/12/teacher_pay.ART_ART_10-12-08_A1_H0BIPF8.html%3Fsid%3D101cid=1254005434ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNHfAIbrlixdIhGc_91zq_pdbv8AxATeachers#39; pay raises based on years, not performance/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrColumbus Dispatch/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.wwj.com/No-School-Tuesday-In-Wayne-Westland-District/3088194cid=1254005434ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNEdvpnuybiiKaAXe8CRSdx76uZb0wWayne-Westland Teachers Walk Off the Job/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrWWJ/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1 class=pa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.wxyz.com/news/local/story.aspx%3Fcontent_id%3Da172c083-b422-47b4-b216-aaa61c255c65cid=1254005434ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNFY54SmfUUZPxg2QJCubBkpmb-LPwnobrWXYZ/nobr/anbsp;- a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.hometownlife.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article%3FAID%3D/20081006/NEWS24/81006006cid=1254005434ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNHEFNuH80PcXHQQeDhU8L1hzoN9HwnobrMirror/nobr/a/fontbr/font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1254005434hl=ennobrall 210 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.kantipuronline.com/kolnews.php%3F%26nid%3D163313cid=0ei=o2bySMq4GY_u6gOdoYmmBAusg=AFQjCNEZYnu3kf6aTzH5f80Rp0RcPhZl-AJTMM turns down invitation for talks/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fKantipur Online,nbsp;Nepalnbsp;-/font nobr7 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1In a press statement issued today by Janatantrik Terai Mukti Morcha (JTMM) led by Rajan Mukti, the outfit rebuffed the bnegotiation/b table accusing the b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
negotiation - Google News


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