Making the Deal: Women as Negotiators

Negotiating is no game. It is not for the weak or the fragile. It takes assertiveness and someone who feels comfortable in the mano-a-mano world of business. Can women negotiate the deal as well as their male counterparts? Absolutely! In some cases, they may even do a better job. Women have a definite edge at the negotiating table because of their instincts and natural power of persuasion.

Women usually look for a win/win in negotiations. In Getting to Yes, the classic book on negotiation by the Harvard Negotiation Project, it was reported that the win/win strategy work best in negotiations. In order to avoid future resentments, all parties should come away feeling good about the resolution of a problem.

Traditionally, it is thought that whoever is on the other side in negotiations is the adversary. However, women tend to want to develop a relationship with the other person and take into account the needs and difficulties of both sides. Women also tend to collaborate and help one another if problems arise.

What traditional businesses have missed for far to long is the understanding that personal relationships, not the contract, profit margin, or delivery date is what give one the competitive edge. Historically, women have been seen as poor negotiators because they are influenced by the other party's situation. But if the truth were told women will more often than not work with their adversaries to reach a solution that is good for everyone involved.

Negotiating is a critical skill for all women aspiring to succeed in the business world. For those women who feel they are not good negotiators, they simply need to remember their natural talent of persuasion. Keep in mind even good negotiators will sometimes make mistakes. The key to avoiding these mistakes are: (1) attack the problem and not your adversary; (2) try to come up with several options; (3) never treat negotiations as a contest; (4) never threaten and (5) never give in to something that is contrary to what you believe is ethical.

The playing field for women in this arena has never been level. But women who have empowered themselves with the skills, knowledge, and confidence to negotiate at top levels have chosen a path that ultimately challenge the entrenched structures which have always hampered them. Women from childhood have been conditioned to be excellent negotiators. So ladies, do not be afraid to step up to table and negotiate with the big boys. Master the art of negotiating, use it with confidence, and the only limits to what you can achieve will be those placed upon yourself.

Ms. Lewis is President and CEO of The Deline Institute for Professional Development, a training organization which provides workshops and seminars geared toward businesswomen. Ms. Lewis is a native of New Orleans, Louisiana. She is an Adjunct Professor at National-Louis University, where she teaches Human Resource Management. Ms. Lewis has conducted training for the Federal government on Diversity, as well as EEO regulations and guidelines. Ms. Lewis is a certified trainer with the Professional Women Network, specializing in the area of Diversity with an emphasis in Women's Issues. Ms. Lewis is a member of the Professional Woman Network and Professional Woman Speakers Bureau; the National Association of Female Executives; The African American Federal Executive Association and Federally Employed Women. Ms. Lewis' knowledge of business and professionalism is supported by 21 years of work experience in the military and 18 years of continuous work experience as a civilian with the Federal government.

In The News:
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathleen-reardon/nearly-as-far-fetched-as_b_132321.htmlcid=1255205667ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNF0ntQsR7ESBudLzmLkKbWb14_jKgNearly As Far-Fetched As The Maverick Lie -- bNegotiation/b Preconditions/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fHuffington Post,nbsp;NYnbsp;-/font nobr23 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1First, it#39;s either naive or a fabrication when McCain suggests Obama will suddenly pop up at a bnegotiation/b with the leadership of Iran. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.inform.kz/showarticle3.php%3Flang%3Deng%26id%3D170853cid=0ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNHfMYaem7Le__De6DLzR7rTiOEwSgNazarbayev stands for continuation of bnegotiation/b process on b.../b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fKazinform,nbsp;Kazakhstannbsp;-/font nobr8 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1b.../b of the Middle East conflict were considered. KazakhstanТs President noted it was necessary to continue the process of bnegotiations/b on this problem./font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://voanews.com/english/2008-10-07-voa38.cfmcid=1254902146ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNGkrUb9fB5-9oJovoPLakvmK4Vyzgimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=nuBbsW2V1pQJimgurl=voanews.com/english/images/voa_herman_afghanistan_humayun_hamidzada_07Oct08.jpg width=80 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Voice of America/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/oct/07/afghanistan.middleeastcid=1254902146ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNF7Vu0TauivdMYu0rwKeWnpMmyxyQTalking to the Taliban – yet again/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fguardian.co.uk,nbsp;UKnbsp;-/font nobr4 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Third, and more importantly, if calm in Afghanistan is reached through bnegotiation/b with the Taliban, this will translate into more violence in Pakistan. b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://thepost.com.pk/OpinionNews.aspx%3Fdtlid%3D186237%26catid%3D11cid=1254902146ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNEsjhDaHQig-rPKoCUZoUaT2OP0gQTaliban talks in Saudi Arabia/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrThe Post/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.gulf-daily-news.com/Story.asp%3FArticle%3D230911%26Sn%3DWORL%26IssueID%3D31201cid=1254902146ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNGP0rYsqnL-M4xUO6U5uJYENvm9wAKabul hopes for peace talks/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrGulf Daily News/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008-10/07/content_10161209.htmcid=1254902146ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNF5ksn6CQomuWeadZqoi3lOCEXxCgAfghan official: no talks held with Taliban/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrXinhua/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1 class=pa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/mini/CTVNews/20081006/election2008_afghanistan_081006/20081006%3Fs_name%3Delection2008%26no_ads%3Dcid=1254902146ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNFk8VfE5tXk628yLxcTiSuvsPlVlgnobrCTV.ca/nobr/anbsp;- a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://aawsat.com/english/news.asp%3Fsection%3D1%26id%3D14326cid=1254902146ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNG-yOf5hO5fuqWyTWEG72jceV614AnobrAsharq Alawsat/nobr/a/fontbr/font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1254902146hl=ennobrall 465 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
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table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.rttnews.com/Content/BreakingNews.aspx%3FNode%3DB1%26Id%3D733625%2520%26Category%3DBreaking%2520Newscid=1255128185ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNHDdZ_asHZZL5NxIHu3TaJ5tNpeMwMesa Air reaches tentative deal with pilots - Update/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fRTT News,nbsp;NYnbsp;-/font nobr5 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1After 10 months long expedited bnegotiation/b process, the company management and the pilot group struck a short-term agreement, which includes more days off b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20081007.WBSteele20081007095721/WBStory/WBSteelecid=1255143031ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNG0r4lkKSudlGUEPHp3XL6eTzN17wYou say al-Qaeda, I say Taliban/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fGlobe and Mail,nbsp;Canadanbsp;-/font nobr4 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1My point was that al-Qaeda and the Taliban are closely linked and any bnegotiation/b with the Taliban is, by definition, a bnegotiation/b with al-Qaeda. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.onlinenews.com.pk/details.php%3Fid%3D134246cid=1254973321ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNHzU1BwYB_yGUv2HwlsZHanNbp4fQimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=cBqlKVZ28wYJimgurl=www.onlinenews.com.pk/pictorial/large/06Cartn1.jpg width=80 height=57 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Online - International News Network/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.onlinenews.com.pk/details.php%3Fid%3D134246cid=1254973321ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNHzU1BwYB_yGUv2HwlsZHanNbp4fQNews of bnegotiation/b with Afghan govt baseless: Taliban’s spokesman/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fOnline - International News Network,nbsp;Pakistannbsp;-/font nobrOct 6, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1PESHAWAR: Hizb-e-Islami and Taliban’s leader Mullah Umar has termed the news of Taliban’s bnegotiation/b with Afghan government as baseless and said that those b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20081005/focus/focus4.htmlcid=1254389513ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNGbIt_pvMqCdrGs_ZQEI1tM-SnVjAimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=9c1May9kP20Jimgurl=www.jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20081005/focus/images/Layout1_1_PLATFudreyMarAM.jpg width=58 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Jamaica Gleaner/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.jamaica-gleaner.com/gleaner/20081005/focus/focus4.htmlcid=1254389513ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNGbIt_pvMqCdrGs_ZQEI1tM-SnVjATrade and bnegotiation/b: Keys to Jamaica#39;s economic development/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fJamaica Gleaner,nbsp;Jamaicanbsp;-/font nobrOct 4, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1A team of international negotiators was recruited and a regional bnegotiating/b machinery instituted specifically for the process. The discussions on the draft b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.istockanalyst.com/article/viewiStockNews%2Barticleid_2685902.htmlcid=1255125816ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNEUn2DM0HBFP2RkjUVyPMhtaaGLrQAmerican Commerce Solutions, Inc. President#39;s Letter/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fistockAnalyst.com (press release),nbsp;ORnbsp;-/font nobr5 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1We expect to take advantage of several opportunities which have been in bnegotiation/b for some time.quot; American Commerce Solutions, Inc. October 2008 From the b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008-10/05/content_10151401.htmcid=1253724238ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNHUfgnSS8Cd7zBR1LG1FG65BElOiANepali PM urges for immediate bnegotiation/b with armed groups/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fXinhua,nbsp;Chinanbsp;-/font nobrOct 5, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Sharma informed the PM that preparations were underway to bring the armed groups to the bnegotiating/b table quot;within 2-3 daysquot;. According to nepalnews.com b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.kantipuronline.com/kolnews.php%3Fnid%3D163033cid=1253724238ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNHU7yKp8DfhS3mEkxyjmKBtb9VtXQGovt invites Terai-based political groups to talks/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrKantipur Online/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008-10/07/content_10156915.htmcid=1253724238ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNEj2GuecHRjMk4EzVdLrE3pK6EMiANepali gov#39;t to hold dialogue with Terai outfits/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrXinhua/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2008-10/03/content_10145444.htmcid=1253724238ei=vbLrSJHRJ43W6gPvtYj1CAusg=AFQjCNHWvWtim59dRtozT0LzxAy3fyy-GwArmed outfits in southern Nepal announce ceasefire/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrXinhua/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1253724238hl=ennobrall 36 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
negotiation - Google News

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