Dad, Go Ahead and Cry

She slipped her small, soft eight-year-old hand into mine. Her face was lit up with joy. And as my daughter took my hand and moved closer to me, I lost control of my emotions.

Tears of joy ran down my face, right in the middle of the church where my daughter was having her first communion. Right in the middle of many of our family members, who had come to support her.

As she sat there in her white dress and veil, she seemed an angel to me. And when I saw the joy in her eyes, I was no match for it. The tears just came.

There's no manual that comes for us in moments like this. They simply grab you and take you where they want. I sat there, wrestling with a number of conflicting thoughts and emotions. Would my daughter or other family members be embarrassed? After all, I'm a man! We're supposed to control our emotions, right? Part of me wanted to have the freedom to cry freely without judgment. But mostly, the feeling that overcame me was one of pure joy and gratitude.

Here I was with a loving, supportive family, seeing my daughter go through an important rite of passage, and seeing her immense excitement and joy. Sharing that moment with her made everything in my life feel worthwhile. It made all the hardships of raising children seem insignificant. I felt as fortunate as anyone on earth. Why was I chosen to receive all these blessings? It was the kind of moment that we don't have enough of, and the kind of moment that fathers don't always embrace as strongly as they could.

This kind of moment is what most of us live for, whether we know it or not. The moment in which our heart takes over. The moment that brings us the closest to pure love, when we see our child as an amazing gift from God.

On this day, the vision of my daughter snuggled next to me was etched in my mind forever.

Later, after the celebration was over, we arrived at home to begin business-as-usual. I thought about the many projects that I'd neglected to start. The garden, the lawn, and the inside of the house all screamed my name. I felt that familiar sense of having too many things to do, and too little time.

And then I remembered the moment with my daughter again, knowing that it could never be taken away from us. I knew then that the decision about which project to start wasn't really important. In fact, it didn't matter that much if I started any of them at all.

What was really important was keeping my heart open, for the next "moment."

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches busy parents by phone to balance their life and improve their family relationships. For a FREE twenty minute sample session by phone; ebooks, courses, articles, and a FREE newsletter, go to http://www.markbrandenburg.com. or email him at mark@markbrandenburg.com.

In The News:
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/10/10/the-parenting-vote/cid=1256071234ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNHJVgo5NCjjMWu_YOXdAl1P8PLG5Qimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=C3G6mpLtSTAJimgurl=graphics8.nytimes.com/images/blogs/motherlode/3_politics.jpg width=80 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2New York Times/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/10/10/the-parenting-vote/cid=1256071234ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNHJVgo5NCjjMWu_YOXdAl1P8PLG5QThe bParenting/b Vote/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fNew York Times,nbsp;United Statesnbsp;-/font nobr11 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1By Lisa Belkin Ask people with children what most shapes their worldview, and being a bparent/b would likely be high on the list. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.blueridgenow.com/article/20081010/ARTICLES/810101018/1008/SPORTS%3FTitle%3DGive_mom_some_parenting_bookscid=1256191476ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNHLTSzr-IF8r7Bnb1YJEH92lfFULgGive mom some bparenting/b books/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fBlueRidgeNow.com,nbsp;NCnbsp;-/font nobr11 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1If you are friends with Mom and see Lindsay only in her company, we recommend you find some bparenting/b books and give them to Mom as a Christmas gift, b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.blueridgenow.com/article/20081010/ARTICLES/810101011%3FTitle%3DQuentin_must_want_to_stopcid=1256191476ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNHwf2aKxHbbiwsMnUzIKRazfd1XwwQuentin must want to stop/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrBlueRidgeNow.com/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1256191476hl=ennobrall 7 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.proudparenting.com/node/2139cid=1255938590ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNF4305HEj-iQ1nG9QNP9fjntq72zgimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=hqC8h-pAbV8Jimgurl=www.proudparenting.com/files/foster345.jpg width=80 height=64 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Proud Parenting/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.arkansasnews.com/archive/2008/10/10/News/348353.htmlcid=1255938590ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNGyvvQoZXJuaMeG_N5iM9Tgw5NBugDHS to drop ban on foster bparenting/b by unwed couples/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fArkansas News,nbsp;ARnbsp;-/font nobr16 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1quot;Everyone we#39;ve talked to in the foster care system, whether it#39;s the workers at DCFS (the Division of Children and Family Services), whether it#39;s bparents/b, b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.nwaonline.net/articles/2008/10/10/news/101108lrfoster.txtcid=1255938590ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNE7gTDZkADQio61eH01nLgYwoPbHwFamily Council: DHS Policy Change Suspicious/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrThe Morning News/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.chinapost.com.tw/international/americas/2008/10/11/178197/Arkansas-to.htmcid=1255938590ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNHFhGtvQ7TrUMNrQ2iOOlGiSEMzVAArkansas to drop ban on foster bparenting/b/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrChina Post/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.arktimes.com/blogs/arkansasblog/2008/10/its_about_the_kids.aspxcid=1255938590ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNHo5cMH75Ns1uCFSLy1s6MY9pO8tAIt#39;s about the kids/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrArkansas Times/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1 class=pa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.arktimes.com/Articles/ArticleViewer.aspx%3FArticleID%3Dbe6ae730-42c3-4b4e-afd8-13c6e6cce0accid=1255938590ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNH0xQKvOoXgvUdh_PjTEQT_VHuptQnobrArkansas Times/nobr/a/fontbr/font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1255938590hl=ennobrall 191 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/detail%3Fblogid%3D29%26entry_id%3D31289cid=1255903959ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNEaGvlxb7n_D8wByZ45vBvM_4vtuAimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=N3kefsPQZ04Jimgurl=www.sfgate.com/blogs/images/sfgate/parenting/2008/10/09/barry190x271.jpg width=56 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2San Francisco Chronicle/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/detail%3Fblogid%3D29%26entry_id%3D31289cid=1255903959ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNEaGvlxb7n_D8wByZ45vBvM_4vtuAYour bparenting/b happy place/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fSan Francisco Chronicle,nbsp; USAnbsp;-/font nobrOct 9, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1When the bad times come, one thing I do to keep from getting out-of-control upset is remember one of my bparenting/b happy places. I have maybe five or six of b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi%3Ff%3D/c/a/2008/10/09/EDLO13EDO9.DTLcid=1254438696ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNFJQOCoyBHGQu42DAshPGbqYSXv7gWho claims the family policy agenda?/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fSan Francisco Chronicle,nbsp; USAnbsp;-/font nobrOct 9, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1High rates of poverty, divorce, single parenthood and social isolation exaggerate the typical strains of bparenting/b. As a result, the United States has one b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.charlescitypress.com/articles/2008/10/10/news/news09.txtcid=0ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNEpHddgNrCR-eu69wPwlT6BN5Dr4QbParenting/b video series begins this Sunday/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fCharles City Press,nbsp; United Statesnbsp;-/font nobr12 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1A great bparenting/b resource is being offered to interested families in Charles City. The first five segments of the video series, “Shepherding a Child’s b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/7656602.stmcid=1254838181ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNHzCDNifxTCQGl0XRaQbMyRjgnGoQimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=IqkmqN2e7r4Jimgurl=newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/45085000/jpg/_45085464_45085293.jpg width=80 height=60 alt= border=1brfont size=-2BBC News/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.greatdad.com/tertiary/274/3201/new-car-technology-to-aid-parenting-skills.htmlcid=1254838181ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNGDcoKrZot60qtFvwDyBQkHtYeYagNew car technology to aid bparenting/b skills/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fGreat Dad,nbsp;Californianbsp;-/font nobrOct 8, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1There’s also a low-fuel warning which kicks in at 75 miles to empty - in case your children ignore your wise bparenting/b advice and spend more time reveling b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.minotdailynews.com/page/content.detail/id/519728.html%3Fnav%3D5004cid=1254838181ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNHNA09k9w7f8mthac3IllVRUhAPJQbParenting/b and technology — is it protection or control?/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrMinot Daily News/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://blogs.pcworld.com/staffblog/archives/007890.htmlcid=1254838181ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNFmU8FKzB358SXcjBy4kBj07LQbagMyKey Turns Your Ford Focus into Your Mom/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrPC World/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/3147296/Parents-to-control-how-fast-children-drive.htmlcid=1254838181ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNFt5OQu9vgacByAg7PP7ifQX3FskAbParents/b to control how fast children drive/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrTelegraph.co.uk/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1 class=pa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.techradar.com/news/world-of-tech/car-tech/ford-launches-mykey-parental-controls-for-cars-474055cid=1254838181ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNEkL0uzOBxC4RDfkRLfM78DU_6a2AnobrTechRadar.com/nobr/anbsp;- a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/10/07/young-at-the-wheel-and-at-risk/%3Fhpcid=1254838181ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNGxJMd_yJi9-BR-w4AzSir6nul0AAnobrNew York Times/nobr/a/fontbr/font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1254838181hl=ennobrall 905 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.canada.com/calgaryherald/story.html%3Fid%3Dde764b0d-5717-4763-90c1-1e0a6114b5e7cid=1255419503ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNHUc6vfHXgnsAeXEDbGw5_HBzCntAimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=RMSuqQhUIngJimgurl=a123.g.akamai.net/f/123/12465/1d/media.canada.com/idl/cahr/20070226/169270-53492.jpg%3Fsize%3Dl width=80 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Calgary Herald/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/parenting/detail%3F%26entry_id%3D31279cid=1255419503ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNFUZ3IUdtNQ6saMD14y9xRQ-Y6p7gbParenting/b books you can#39;t live without/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fSan Francisco Chronicle,nbsp; USAnbsp;-/font nobrOct 8, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1In my bedroom there is a bookshelf where I#39;ve kept bparenting/b-related books I#39;ve collected over the years, and I realized recently it#39;s time to get rid of b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.canada.com/calgaryherald/story.html%3Fid%3Dde764b0d-5717-4763-90c1-1e0a6114b5e7cid=1255419503ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNHUc6vfHXgnsAeXEDbGw5_HBzCntAA kinder way to discipline kids/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrCalgary Herald/nobr/font/fontbrfont class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1255419503hl=ennobrall 4 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1584242/a_parenting_odyssey_shouldering_grief_welcoming_joy/cid=0ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNF1RUYSXKZ1WO0XdcoVo90QrbJbUAA bParenting/b Odyssey: Shouldering Grief, Welcoming Joy/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fRedOrbit,nbsp;TXnbsp;-/font nobr21 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Before we could grow accustomed to being the bparents/b of a daughter, we learned that we would lose her. Imagine the highest and lowest moment of your life b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/parenting/detail%3F%26entry_id%3D31330cid=0ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNFfCmDwOSwBmOo3EMgElp-UmLdfBgimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=AqzLL5bUmQ4Jimgurl=www.sfgate.com/blogs/images/sfgate/parenting/2008/10/09/Clements_Children140x200.JPG width=56 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2San Francisco Chronicle/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/parenting/detail%3F%26entry_id%3D31330cid=0ei=f0XwSIn8JKCQ6AOjiq23Bwusg=AFQjCNFfCmDwOSwBmOo3EMgElp-UmLdfBgQamp;A: 49ers cornerback Nate Clements/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fSan Francisco Chronicle,nbsp; USAnbsp;-/font nobr17 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1So what does this have to do with bparenting/b? In a random sideline interview a few games ago, Clements started gushing about his two children, b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
parenting - Google News


Wind Chimes and more...

Windchimes for great gifts!

The Mystery of Picky Eaters

If you were to ask 100 parents why they think... Read More

Consistent Boundaries Makes Discipline Easier

Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many... Read More

Car Wash Fundraiser Preparation

Are you considering a car wash fundraiser for your group?... Read More

Paediatric Osteopathy

All babies cry, but if yours cries a lot, isn't... Read More

Some Good News About Blended Families

They Spur Members To Grow EmotionallyTatiana Tannenbaum grappled with a... Read More

Water! Water Everywhere!

What one word best sums up summer fun? Water. I... Read More

Labor of Love

The small, lilac colored hexagonal box, with Winnie the Pooh... Read More

Positive Parenting of Teenagers: Helping Your Teen Understand What I Cant Afford It Means

Because most teens have not had the experience of getting... Read More

A Dangerous Environment

The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't... Read More

Five Easy Steps to Picking the Perfect Baby Name

One of the few decisions you'll make during pregnancy that... Read More

How Public Schools Coerce Parents Into Giving Mind-Altering Drugs To Their Children

Despite the potentially dangerous side-effects of Ritalin, public school authorities... Read More

Should The Dad-To-Be Attend The Birth?

Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and... Read More

What Do You Teach Your Children About Money?

Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More

Guilty of Not Following Her Heart

Karen, a single never-married thirty-year old attorney has a four-year... Read More

Moms - Get More Energy Now

Let's be honest! When it comes to parenting, men expect... Read More

Top 10 Things To Never Believe From Your Teenager

1) It's not my (pot, beer, cigarettes, etc.), I'm just... Read More

Marriages May End But Families Are Forever

It was at that time when our marriage was falling... Read More

Renee?s Mommy is Here

I still remember the scene vividly. I was getting out... Read More

Parents Demand Dumbed-down Tests:An Unintended Bad Consequence of the No Child Left Behind Act

The No Child Left Behind Act of 2001 is making... Read More

Diapers: Do You Choose Disposable Or Reusable?

Diapers..Changing a dirty diaper is not the best part of... Read More

Dads, Handle your Kids Mistakes

One of the most difficult parts of being a father... Read More

10 Signs That Your Teen Is Using Drugs

Did you know that over 75% of teens aged 16-17... Read More

A Night Out For Mom & Dad

Is your babysitter watching the kids and your k9 family... Read More

Keeping Kids Safe on the Internet

The biggest trick some child predators' are using these days... Read More

Finding Answers to Underachievement

Finding answers to a child's underachievement is often a difficult... Read More