How to Create an Emotional Bond with Your Child

One of the most powerful tools that parents have for raising their children is the natural emotional bond that exists between them and their child. Children who feel close to their parents will have a strong desire to obey them. No child with this type of connection to his parents will want to risk hurting that connection by disobeying them. When such a relationship exists, the mere look of dissatisfaction on the face of a parent will usually be enough to curb inappropriate behavior. This bond is so strong and so potent that it lasts even through adolescence when most of the disciplinary tools at our disposal are ineffective. Often, it is the only tool we have in guiding our teenage children. Parents who do not have such a connection with their children have lost a vital resource necessary for successful parenting.

In addition, this bond is essential for the child's emotional stability. A recent psychology experiment studied people in their forties, whose parent were emotionally distant from them. These people were often depressed and lacked a sense of emotional well being. They had more difficulty in adjusting to the work environment and new social situations.

How do you develop this type of loving bond with your child? It begins in your child's infancy and is built by giving your child the love and affection that he needs.

Many well-meaning mothers are completely unaware that their own children are suffering from the lack of physical touch. There are many reasons for this. Most people associate deprived children as those who are neglected, abused, or chronically ill. However, the truth is that many of our children who come from good homes are not getting the physical warmth and love that they need. In our two-income society, unaffectionate caretakers, who provide for the child's physical needs with as little warmth and contact as possible, often raise children. Also, many of us did not receive enough physical love and warmth as children. As a result, it is not natural to us to cuddle, coo, kiss, and love our children affectionately. In addition, some children naturally need more physical warmth. These touch-deprived children fill our schools. They are the ones who often look sad and depressed, suffering from not getting their physical needs for contact.

The United States is one of the richest countries in the history of the world. Yet, our children in general are touch starved. We are busy with our lives and our careers. We often raise our children in broken homes. We as parents are suffering under the burden of so much physical and emotional stress, that we are often just glad to make it through the day without hitting or screaming at our children. Who has time to give them affection? Yet, this is what our children crave most from us. We fill our houses with toys and things for our children, but it is us that they really need.

There is much talk about the generation gap. We all know that adolescents naturally rebel. Sometimes we look at our little children and wonder what is going to be in ten years when this cute little four-year-old turns fourteen. Will he be one of the children who abuses drugs? Is he going to steal? Is he going to do worse? What is going to be?

You need to take the time now, and give your child the physical warmth and love that your child needs. If you build strong bonds of love with your child now, while he is still young, then all these problems that you read about, will be just that; things that you read about. You will not experience these problems in your own home, because you have developed a strong relationship with you child.

About The Author

Anthony Kane, MD is a physician, an international lecturer, and director of special education. He is the author of a book, numerous articles, and a number of online programs dealing with ADHD (addadhdadvances.com/childyoulove.html) treatment, ODD, parenting issues (addadhdadvances.com/betterbehavior.html), and education.

You may visit his website at http://addadhdadvances.com. To sign up for the free ADD ADHD Advances online journal send a blank email to: subscribe@addadhdadvances.com?s ubject=subscribeartcity

akane@addadhdadvances.com

Summer Camp Care Packages

Every summer our daughter goes to summer camp. She looks... Read More

Coping With Colic

Quite simply, an absolute nightmare for parents and babies alike,... Read More

Confident Kids : Why Some Parents Should Carry a Health Warning

As a hypnotherapist, I am acutely aware of the power... Read More

Small Children, Languages and Myths

Our children are growing up bilingual in the French part... Read More

Summer Survival

Summer Survival The... Read More

Teaching Problem Solving Skills to Children with ADHD

Even though the "Stop and Think" movement in ADHD treatment... Read More

Uses for Dirty Diapers

As the father of a toddler, I am an expert... Read More

Book Review: The Ring Bear Depicts Turmoil of Becoming A Stepchild

In "The Ring Bear," a picture book by Tigard resident... Read More

The Better Behavior Wheel - A New Kind of Calm in the Family

There's a new kind of fun and calm out there... Read More

Breastfeed a Toddler - Why?

Is your baby approaching his or her first birthday and... Read More

Power Foods for a Powerful School Lunch

There isn't a school day that goes by that I... Read More

Who Are You When the Professional In You Meets Baby?

Are you a professional?Notice how the questions differs from, "Do... Read More

Top Seven Tips To Become A Good Stepmother

Becoming a stepmother can undoubtedly be one of the most... Read More

Advocating for Your Child with LD

Advocate: you've probably heard the term before. But what does... Read More

Our Recommended Eating Program for ADHD

Below is a copy of our eating program for Attention... Read More

10 Steps to School Year Success

One of the most important aspects of parenting, is ensuring... Read More

Raising Strong Daughters

When my daughter was born, I must admit there was... Read More

Theres a Lollipop on Your Bottom (and Other Terms of Endearment)

"I took care of Callie," my three-year-old announced.Callie had been... Read More

Three Tips to Get Children with Sleeping Problems Asleep

According to the American Sleep Association 70% of all babies... Read More

Building Self Confidence

Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character... Read More

Difference

There are times when my ideas of raising a child... Read More

How to Talk to Your Kids About Suicide: New Study Says it May Make Them Less Likely to Consider It!

This year alone, 1,600 teenagers aged 15 to 19 will... Read More

How to Raise Creative Kids

"Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze... Read More

The Truth Behind Having Children

In the beginning, having children was just a byproduct of... Read More

Develop Your Childs Genius: One Step Farther

When is a person brilliant? When does a person show... Read More