|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
More and more kids these days are diagnosed ADD, ADHD, or Bipolar. There are biological reasons for this, and there are environmental elements which can soothe or aggravate the symptoms. It becomes increasingly easy to "react" to each mood swing rather than to develop a plan for different positions on the pendulum swing. Yet, preplanning is the best chance at teaching our children coping skills that will serve them throughout life. A child will learn better during a manic or hyper state-if the parent is able to stay strong and kick into a preplanned directed goal.
Some of the most creative, successful people in the world's history are bipolar. (one small list of such people can be found at: http://www.bipolarsurvivor.com/famous.html) There have been rulers of countries with it, artists, authors, astronauts, musicians, ball players, financiers. The goal of parenting is to help assist our children to learn the coping skill that they will need to be successful at their level in the world around them as adults. Your child may choose to be the next Nobel Prize winner, Secretary General of the United Nations, or they actually may just have similar goals on an equally grand scale.
Keep in mind that adults, who are clinically required medicine to help curb the mania, often go off their meds because they enjoy the added energy and creativity. They like feeling euphoria, accomplishment, and a higher sense of capability and esteem. Yet un-channeled, that high energy can run rampant, and create a wake of problems left behind them which will increase the slower, depression side of the mood cycle.
When our children are young, we can take the time to help them identify these moods and teach them subtly-- some ways to harness that energy, and utilize it in appropriate ways that still align with their desires. The following suggestions are modifications from the book The Ups and Downs of Raising a Bipolar Child by Judith Lederman and Candida Fink, M.D. These suggestions work well in the state where creativity & thinking out of the box is identifiable. This is not intended to treat other phases of mania such as rage, or extreme irritability & negativity.
1) Listen and Learn. Pick up on cues and subtle comments that can help you understand you child's interest at the time. Ask questions about her desires and thoughts regarding hopes, dreams, goals, wishes. Use this time to bond and grow closer to the inner part of you child that is revealing itself.
2) Encourage participation in those desires in a physical way now (right now) if possible. Writing poetry or a mini-novel-even a script for a tv show, drawing, picking up and instrument and trying it, shooting photographs, making a video, painting and decorating his bedroom, sending a letter to the President of the United States, etc.
3) Ground the child in reality of the situation & current needs. When she has to do something RIGHT now, calmly and detached state in few words what needs to take place. Also validate her desires by adding "it would be nice to do that someday". You may even want to converse further about that impulsive desire-again: listen and learn, while helping her attend to the responsibilities of the situation at hand.
4) Meet some of the desire while lowering the intensity for her. If he just has to go to a professional ball game (now!), try going through his card collection to see which players and positions he is most interested in. OR get on the computer and begin a card collection for him-let him help pick out the cards and teams. Have someone in the family take 20-60 minutes out to play that sport with him now. After energy has been released, maybe go to blockbuster and get a video where that sport is the theme.
The process to help a child deal with STRONG impulses is time consuming. Two points of reality are:
a) There really isn't any way around the time consumption. Whether we deal with the desires head on or waste time arguing and trying to shift our children to something else "more reasonable", the time expended will be relatively equal.
b) We are giving them life long skills that may save them years of frustration: by taking the time to encourage our children to think creatively, stay with a theme of desire while channeling it reasonably. And this is one of our heart's desires .
Until next time-all the best,
Kate
About The Author
Kate Hufstetler is a well established Personal Life Coach. Her clients come from both the United States and overseas. She offers coaching services via email and phone consultations. For more information and current highlights please visit: http://www.comedreamwithme.com
Wind Chimes and more... There may really be a real monster under your kidâ??s... Read More Everyone in a private practice setting who works with children... Read More Most of the ADHD kids that are seen in a... Read More Is Homework Really That Important?Dear Friends,I no longer teach in... Read More Are you worried about your child's reading habits? Perhaps you... Read More From criticizing a spouse, to claming up about one's own... Read More Imagine you were the principal of the school that your... Read More Every summer our daughter goes to summer camp. She looks... Read More In the first premise, some films and video tapes which... Read More Former students would probably attest to the fact that few... Read More Working with adults (as well as children and teens) for... Read More Throughout the year, many days of celebration are tucked capriciously... Read More When was the last time you and your kids rolled... Read More Q. Our 17-year-old son wants us to let his girlfriend... Read More There are many parenting styles. Yours may be very different... Read More "Hugging is healthy: it helps the body's immunity system, it... Read More Not nearly as often as it should. Most child abuse... Read More Most people have more training before they receive their driver's... Read More Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy.... Read More Drivers 16 years of age have little driving experience, putting... Read More Every week I write something about the stock market -... Read More Having a high level of emotional intelligence in your children... Read More Imagine a child who lacks ownership of his own life,... Read More An apology is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes... Read More Is your baby approaching his or her first birthday and... Read More
Windchimes
for great gifts!
Real Monsters Under Your Bed
Diagnosing ADHD in Your Child, an Introduction
What is Hyperactivity in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?
Where Is Your Homework, Lisa?
Frequently Asked Questions About Reading To Your Child
Top 10 Mistakes by New and Expectant Dads
Would You Hire This Teacher?
Summer Camp Care Packages
Film Industry and Our Youth
The B Word
How to Put Your Kids (Or Grandkids) On the Fast Track to Success
Go Ahead - Make Dads Day
Get Down (On The Floor!) And Play With Your Children
Parenting Your Teenager: Are Sleep Overs with the Opposite Sex OK?
Parenting - Give Your Child The Tools To Build Strong Character And Values
Defrazzle with Hug Therapy
How Often Does Child Sexual Abuse Get Reported?
The Top 10 Tips for Communicating with Children
Responsible Fatherhood - A Unique And Irreplaceable Role!
Graduated Driver Licensing (GDL) for Teen Drivers
Best Investment
Top Ten Ways to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Kids
Boundaries - Why Theyre Needed
Should We Apologize To Our Children?
Breastfeed a Toddler - Why?
I really like all natural remedy for Attention Deficit Disorder... Read More
Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent more than the... Read More
Fizzy sherbet in a paper bag with a strawberry lollipop... Read More
If there are any parents reading this who are thinking... Read More
I still remember the scene vividly. I was getting out... Read More
I will never forget the day that my daughter's sixth... Read More
The time you will need to teach your children the... Read More
When we talk about attention, we are talking about two... Read More
Do your children have a McChildhood? Do they experience the... Read More
1. Diapers (5 -7 is a fairly safe supply)2. Wipes3.... Read More
Peaceful Parenting® ideas are very different from other kinds of... Read More
We all wish that our children should not smoke or... Read More
The debate in many towns continues throughout this country about... Read More
In the last 20 years we've all been introduced to... Read More
Children do what feels good to them and follow their... Read More
Ask any teacher or adolescent counselor what the most disturbing... Read More
Moms, did you ever question your value as a role... Read More
There are few thoughts as terrifying as the abduction of... Read More
As a parent, you can learn a lot about your... Read More
It is not the divorce but the conflict arising after... Read More
KIDS AND THE NEWSMore than ever, children witness innumerable, sometimes... Read More
I WAS AMAZEDI could hardly believe what I was hearing.... Read More
Looking back through my files I've come across several great... Read More
Are your children truthful, kind, and helpful? If so, read... Read More
I am sure that this list can be jogged and... Read More
Parenting |