Sometimes Our Childrens Questions Answer Our Own

I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he asked, "Mom, will we always have Tanner?"

Tanner is the family dog, and at twelve-years old, her health is quickly deteriorating.

"No, Ford," I said gently, "we won't always have Tanner. She is old, and she won't always be with us."

"But if she's not with us," he asked, "who will have her?"

Ever since I became a mother 4 years ago, I've been preparing myself for the tough questions-Why am I here? Where do babies come from? Who shot JFK?-but I admit I wasn't ready for life's greatest question in the middle of a diaper change.

I answered carefully. "Ford, when someone is no longer with us, they go to live with Jesus in Heaven."

A tear made its way down Ford's cheek as he said, "Well, I don't want any other dog after she's gone."

One week later I stood behind my grandmother as her husband of 63 years was buried into the ground. Grandpa lived to be 93, so there was much to give praise for, but I was tormented by one thing. He never saw my sons, his only great-grandchildren.

"Can he see us now?" I wondered silently. "Is he looking down from Heaven and finally seeing the boys?"

My other grandfather, Big Jack, died when I was pregnant with Ford. He too never saw my children. And now, today, I have no more grandfathers. No white-headed men to pat my boys' heads and slip them forbidden candy.

But like Ford, I don't want anyone to replace Big Jack and Grandpa. The Bible tells us in 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, "But we would not have you ignorant, brethren, concerning those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. 14 For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep." Big Jack and Grandpa are gone, but someday we will meet again, and something in my heart tells me they are still here, watching and smiling.

As we left the funeral, I thought back to my conversation with Ford. Very soon he will have to say goodbye to Tanner. I hope I have prepared him well enough.

But then again, as I remember the timing of his question right before my grandfather's funeral, could it be that God was actually preparing me?

Sarah Smiley, Copyright 2004

About The Author

++You may reprint the above column on your website so long as the following is included the URL address is actively hyperlinked back++

THIS MUST BE INCLUDED: Copyright 2004 Sarah Smiley http://www.SarahSmiley.com - Sarah Smiley's syndicated column Shore Duty appears weekly in newspapers across the country.

sarah@sarahsmiley.com

In The News:

table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.indystar.com/article/20081122/LOCAL18/81122001cid=0ei=U6UoSYHTKKTe6AO39qRMusg=AFQjCNHlqmPh1yUEhAcS3QPZ7Ix7FuQamwExpo conference on bparenting/b draws 350/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fIndianapolis Star,nbsp;United Statesnbsp;-/font nobr3 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1By William J. Booher About 350 people attended today’s bParent/b Empowerment Conference held by Indiana Black Expo. Talks, workshops and booths provided b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/11/21/AR2008112102807.htmlcid=1273140708ei=U6UoSYHTKKTe6AO39qRMusg=AFQjCNE_xNjUtZGrlUDNsDbWHkcBJyHdWgGetting Tough on Bullying/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fWashington Post,nbsp;United Statesnbsp;-/font nobr18 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1And as mounting research shows the negative effects on both the bully and the victim, mental-health professionals, schools, bparents/b and even kids themselves b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.examiner.com/x-746-New-York-Music-Examiner~y2008m11d21-Monday-Coldplaycid=1271797112ei=U6UoSYHTKKTe6AO39qRMusg=AFQjCNEgeb1bqQohwuL9TdErIDY7irLU5Aimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=GYQyxreckWcJimgurl=image.examiner.com/images/blog/wysiwyg/image/phplAo7oVPM.jpg width=80 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Examiner.com/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.examiner.com/x-746-New-York-Music-Examiner~y2008m11d21-Monday-Coldplaycid=1271797112ei=U6UoSYHTKKTe6AO39qRMusg=AFQjCNEgeb1bqQohwuL9TdErIDY7irLU5A(ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco bparenting/b)/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fExaminer.comnbsp;-/font nobr11 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1by Sherrill Fulghum, New York Music Examiner When artists record an album there is often more songs written and recorded than make it onto the album. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.examiner.com/x-1243-DC-Metro-Area-Parenting-Examiner~y2008m11d21-Safe-Haven-Child-Abandonmentcid=0ei=U6UoSYHTKKTe6AO39qRMusg=AFQjCNGa8tbfxz6mQjj_DzavQEoi96MWngimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=DwTvEEwTn98Jimgurl=image.examiner.com/images/blog/wysiwyg/image/phpi71mYJAM.jpg width=53 height=80 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Examiner.com/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.examiner.com/x-1243-DC-Metro-Area-Parenting-Examiner~y2008m11d21-Safe-Haven-Child-Abandonmentcid=0ei=U6UoSYHTKKTe6AO39qRMusg=AFQjCNGa8tbfxz6mQjj_DzavQEoi96MWng(ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco bparenting/b)/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fExaminer.comnbsp;-/font nobr11 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1by Michelle Flannigan, DC Metro Area bParenting/b Examiner Last month, a mother abandoned a newborn girl in a garbage sack in Tacoma Park. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.examiner.com/x-1505-Chicago-Special-Needs-Examiner~y2008m11d21-Holiday-leftoverscid=0ei=U6UoSYHTKKTe6AO39qRMusg=AFQjCNExEkgjlQ5LGdL3pVPoUbz4MNiSRgimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=10EPqcEdldgJimgurl=image.examiner.com/images/blog/wysiwyg/image/Jake_Liefer__photo_by.jpg width=80 height=41 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Examiner.com/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.examiner.com/x-1505-Chicago-Special-Needs-Examiner~y2008m11d21-Holiday-leftoverscid=0ei=U6UoSYHTKKTe6AO39qRMusg=AFQjCNExEkgjlQ5LGdL3pVPoUbz4MNiSRg(ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco bparenting/b)/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fExaminer.comnbsp;-/font nobr11 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1by Kathleen Milazzo, Chicago Special Needs Examiner We all know how great holiday leftovers can be, however these leftovers do not consist of food not eaten b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.examiner.com/x-1051-Independent-Examiner~y2008m11d21-Cultures-of-Murdercid=0ei=U6UoSYHTKKTe6AO39qRMusg=AFQjCNGJq1s9cNavJHZadSfh1m8-l4g-rw(ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco bparenting/b)/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fExaminer.comnbsp;-/font nobr11 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1by Brian Trent, Independent Examiner While his mother screamed and begged for mercy, a 15-year-old Indian boy was beaten, his scalp shaved, b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.lawrentian.com/home/news/2008/11/21/Features/Queer.Parenting.More.Than.Cute.Baby.Photos-3552084.shtmlcid=1273050426ei=U6UoSYHTKKTe6AO39qRMusg=AFQjCNGowrxaANhV0BxhcjegD5ffsnoKPwQueer bparenting/b: more than cute baby photos/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fLawrentian (subscription),nbsp;WInbsp;-/font nobrNov 21, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-113 four Lawrence University faculty members shared four unique versions of what it is like to be a queer bparent/b in Appleton. While each tale differed in b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.examiner.com/x-746-New-York-Music-Examiner~y2008m11d21-Live-Earth-20008cid=1272528345ei=U6UoSYHTKKTe6AO39qRMusg=AFQjCNHZdlnAKPhsY6racrUv8fwBpQA34Aimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=zjLuTuh7oRUJimgurl=image.examiner.com/images/blog/wysiwyg/image/phpYFp10BPM.jpg width=80 height=66 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Examiner.com/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.examiner.com/x-746-New-York-Music-Examiner~y2008m11d21-Live-Earth-20008cid=1272528345ei=U6UoSYHTKKTe6AO39qRMusg=AFQjCNHZdlnAKPhsY6racrUv8fwBpQA34A(ie San Francisco hiking, San Francisco bparenting/b)/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fExaminer.comnbsp;-/font nobr11 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1by Sherrill Fulghum, New York Music Examiner In 2007 former Vice-President Al Gore launched a campaign for awareness of Global Warming. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/chi-ap-faithhealingamplaw,0,3467888.storycid=1273000725ei=U6UoSYHTKKTe6AO39qRMusg=AFQjCNEPEQu58tWs_AyUMFSIq20DUJ00XAChild deaths test faith-healing exemption/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fChicago Tribune,nbsp;United Statesnbsp;-/font nobrNov 21, 2008/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1quot;We can#39;t legislate good bparenting/b, but at least we shouldn#39;t have laws allowing bad bparenting/b,quot; said Swan, who now heads the advocacy group Children#39;s b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.greatdad.com/tertiary/358/3354/mark-wahlberg-shares-parenting-advice.htmlcid=0ei=U6UoSYHTKKTe6AO39qRMusg=AFQjCNEotDHrBGkBXgpeOhNYjHmIRAqOGwMark Wahlberg shares bparenting/b advice/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fGreat Dad,nbsp;Californianbsp;-/font nobr16 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Fatherhood can be a wild ride, whether you are an average dad or a high-profile star who is balancing bparenting/b skills with the pressures of the celebrity b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
parenting - Google News

Influencing Adolescents - Guided Democracy

You need to smart to be able influence adolescents. You... Read More

Parenting Predicaments

Predicament:My son is 4 1/2 years old. His younger brother... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Truth or Lie?

Attention all parents of teen-agers. Here is an important, groundbreaking... Read More

Top 20 Items To Pack In A Diaper Bag

1. Diapers (5 -7 is a fairly safe supply)2. Wipes3.... Read More

Marriages May End But Families Are Forever

It was at that time when our marriage was falling... Read More

How To Teach Children Loyalty and Dependability

Individualism is a common thing in today's modern society. Many... Read More

Stroller Safety Tips

Strollers offer a wonderful and convenient service to parents and... Read More

Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Blackmail

Family decision-making is an intriguing phenomenon. Many factors become part... Read More

Honey I Can?t Afford The Kids

Sex has a lot to answer for ? babies usually... Read More

Just What Is A Learning Disability?

A learning disability is defined as a permanent problem that... Read More

Classic Parenting: Encouragement, Praise, Acceptance, and Responsibility

Encouragement comes when you focus on your child's assets and... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: 4 Traps to Avoid

4 traps to avoidTrap 1 - Parents need to realize... Read More

Managing Your Stepfamily

If you are a member of a stepfamily, you know... Read More

Understanding Why Your Child Has Been Recommended for Testing

You have just received a call from your child's teacher... Read More

Top Ten Things Parents Must Know About State Academic Standards (What Your Child s/b Learning)

Public education in the United States has never been equal... Read More

People of the Century by Dan Rather

Dan Rather made a significant and tactical error and got... Read More

What Do You Teach Your Children About Money?

Whether we realize it or not we teach our children... Read More

The Muffed Dance

Teri was 5. As younger siblings do, she looked up... Read More

MORAL ARMORS Irrational Parenting, Part III

Not Letting Them Think.We all implicitly know that anything questioning... Read More

Motivation - The Key to Your Childs Educational Success

For the first year or two of life outside the... Read More

Dyslexia: Is the Shoe Perhaps on the Wrong Foot?

Reading is the most important skill that a child must... Read More

My Sweet Little Valentine

Valentine day has always been a special day in my... Read More

Parental Internet Control Tips

The Internet is one of the greatest inventions of all... Read More

Parents of Teens: Do You Ever Ask WHY is she so MEAN to me?

Do you ever wonder what is behind the occasional nasty... Read More

How to End the Misery of Bedwetting

When a child wets the bed they worry. Children tend... Read More