Teaching Kids the Value of Money

My husband and I have a 12-year-old daughter who wanted to go to a winter retreat with her church youth group last year. Price of trip ? $45. I told her I'd talk to her dad about it. "HOW much is it?" he asked, "didn't she just go somewhere with the youth group?" "Yes," I replied, "and also to two friends' birthday parties. Another one is coming up this weekend." We both agreed that was a lot of money for us to spend for our daughter to have fun with her friends.

But the retreat was a church activity. So we should have forked out the money for her go, right? Well, maybe. In the past year or so our daughter had made a lot of new friends and had been asked to be involved in a lot of new social activities. Last summer was the first year we could afford to let her go to summer camp for a week. It pleased me more than anything to tell her she could go.

The more we've let our daughter go do things with her friends, the more she takes those things for granted, and expects more. She then resents doing something so menial as her household chores. So now we make sure her chores are done before she goes anywhere. "Room's not clean, laundry not started? Better hurry and do them before you go do something with your friends. Don't have time? Then I guess you're out of luck." But that was only the start. Whenever the attitude starts in she's given a warning and then privileges start being taken away, one by one.

You have to figure out what works for you. You may have to teach each child individually, because each is motivated differently. If your children cheerfully hand over their allowance every time they don't take out the garbage, you should take some other privilege away.

Resist the urge to give your children too much allowance. Don't buy them things that they can save money for themselves, like designer clothes, CD's, magazines, make up, video games, etc. Even young children can be taught to save for small things. Almost nothing makes me more sad than seeing children who take their allowances for granted and never have to work for it. Parents aren't doing their children any favors by teaching them to expect everything to be handed to them. We sacrifice, and they don't appreciate it. Why should they? They don't have anything to lose.

So did our daughter get to go on her retreat? We decided she could go if she paid $20 of the $45. She was not happy about it. She only gets $3 a week allowance, and she was saving her money for a new CD. She stewed about it for awhile, and then forked over what money she had. We worked out a payment schedule for her to come up with the rest of the money before the weekend of the retreat, and we let her do extra chores to earn a few more dollars. Are we guilty of child abuse? Our daughter thinks so, but her dad and I know better.

About The Author

Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of four. For more inspirational articles and tips for everyday living, visit her web sites at http://www.creativehomemaking.com and http://www.christian-parent.com

In The News:

table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://abcnews.go.com/Travel/story%3Fid%3D5966909%26page%3D1cid=1254838181ei=qOfrSKSbDqTe6AOE44nHBgusg=AFQjCNF4jnXcCj7Qn1gVZXu-ofcjwnSxYQimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=_zHilX8P_ngJimgurl=a.abcnews.com/images/Health/ap_ford_mykey_081006_mn.jpg width=80 height=60 alt= border=1brfont size=-2ABC News/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.minotdailynews.com/page/content.detail/id/519728.html%3Fnav%3D5004cid=1254838181ei=qOfrSKSbDqTe6AOE44nHBgusg=AFQjCNHFExACA3ykhtJEyN47nUuKa7bzLQbParenting/b and technology — is it protection or control?/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fMinot Daily News,nbsp;NDnbsp;-/font nobr18 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1Big Brother may be keeping a closer eye on you soon, with help from your bparents/b. Thanks to a new feature that will be standard on some 2010 Ford models, b.../b/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://blogs.pcworld.com/staffblog/archives/007890.htmlcid=1254838181ei=qOfrSKSbDqTe6AOE44nHBgusg=AFQjCNGEF-yJLhC1mqNKxOf7avA8bQe30gMyKey Turns Your Ford Focus into Your Mom/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrPC World/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/3147296/Parents-to-control-how-fast-children-drive.htmlcid=1254838181ei=qOfrSKSbDqTe6AOE44nHBgusg=AFQjCNGVVOYq2itdoPKvk6JcVxIBE7VMQwbParents/b to control how fast children drive/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrTelegraph.co.uk/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1a href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.techradar.com/news/world-of-tech/car-tech/ford-launches-mykey-parental-controls-for-cars-474055cid=1254838181ei=qOfrSKSbDqTe6AOE44nHBgusg=AFQjCNG0-m0FiemdrO_D2Od18Dno7OQzhAFord launches MyKey parental controls for cars/a font size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrTechRadar.com/nobr/font/fontbrfont size=-1 class=pa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/10/07/young-at-the-wheel-and-at-risk/%3Fhpcid=1254838181ei=qOfrSKSbDqTe6AOE44nHBgusg=AFQjCNHC3ij1s5z5HVbPWD6e4jWrjOLssgnobrNew York Times/nobr/a/fontbr/font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news?sourceid=navclientie=ISO-8859-1rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-22,GGLG:enncl=1254838181hl=ennobrall 853 news articles/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.nwaonline.net/articles/2008/10/06/news/100708lradoptionban.txtcid=1255049213ei=qOfrSKSbDqTe6AOE44nHBgusg=AFQjCNH-FB7Gz3GrRQCJ0a6xY1Zc735PywRetired Judges Oppose Adoption, Foster bParenting/b Ban/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fThe Morning News,nbsp;ARnbsp;-/font nobr16 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-11 would limit the ability of every Arkansas judge to choose custodial bparents/b who would serve the best interests of vulnerable children, the group said in a b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.pr-inside.com/author-shares-method-for-parenting-on-r848042.htmcid=0ei=qOfrSKSbDqTe6AOE44nHBgusg=AFQjCNGFMTAiV7c6ItLsuQH_g4zZSst0MwAuthor shares method for #39;bParenting/b on Purpose#39; to benefit children/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fPR-Inside.com (Pressemitteilung),nbsp;Austrianbsp;-/font nobr9 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1By extending his advice to bparents/b and guardians of children between the ages of birth and ten, he empowers them through his own encounters and special b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.nashuatelegraph.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article%3FAID%3D/20081007/NEIGHBORS01/810079951/-1/NEIGHBORScid=0ei=qOfrSKSbDqTe6AOE44nHBgusg=AFQjCNGSpCOArn_Xkw3SwtAGCZF5nq4I-QAttend first of five bparenting/b talks/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fNashua Telegraph,nbsp;NHnbsp;-/font nobr8 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1bParent/b-to-bParent/b and the Milford Police Department will present the first of a series of five bparent/b-planned interactive talks for bparents/b of elementary and b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.dothaneagle.com/dea/lifestyles/local/article/advocacy_center_helps_with_challenges_of_parenting/39850/cid=0ei=qOfrSKSbDqTe6AOE44nHBgusg=AFQjCNHVzdn8hXnTFHRshabXhHKICba-DQAdvocacy center helps with challenges of bparenting/b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fDothan Eagle,nbsp;ALnbsp;-/font nobr11 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1However, most bparents/b struggle to meet these requirements daily with little guidance and support, according to Liz Martin, program director at the Southeast b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.dailynet.de/International/26906.phpcid=1255151621ei=qOfrSKSbDqTe6AOE44nHBgusg=AFQjCNFjGuOqCwQFhOBlHBxUAnTKxXDTzQG+J launches quot;bParenting/b Networkquot; as first transnational online project/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fDailynet,nbsp;Germanynbsp;-/font nobr12 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1October – G+J International is establishing a new international bparenting/b network, based on the German ELTERN.de website, in a move which represents G+J#39;s b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.digtriad.com/news/gms/article.aspx%3Fstoryid%3D111993%26catid%3D67cid=0ei=qOfrSKSbDqTe6AOE44nHBgusg=AFQjCNFi1ZlX3QSfL_QII0wg8Q3WX50KrQbParenting/b Wisely: Sibling Rivalry amp; Assertive Discipline/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fWFMY News 2,nbsp;NCnbsp;-/font nobr10 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1This week, the bParenting/b Wisely seminars in Thomasville take on sibling issues. bParenting/b expert Terri Nelson joins us this morning. b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.modbee.com/1597/story/454590.htmlcid=0ei=qOfrSKSbDqTe6AOE44nHBgusg=AFQjCNFEFSDYFNsC3yeAsGnf8S_mkJWJEAbParenting/b Tips/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fModesto Bee,nbsp;CAnbsp;-/font nobr12 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1By Tom McMahon One of the biggest mistakes bparents/b make is not following through with a threat or rule. Kids know immediately that they don#39;t have to comply b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.rankinledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article%3FAID%3D/20081007/OPINION/810070307/1005cid=0ei=qOfrSKSbDqTe6AOE44nHBgusg=AFQjCNEO5DUi9eiRnIU-upjqZ6pJh0DvLgTen things I#39;ve learned about bparenting/b/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fRankin Ledger,nbsp;MSnbsp;-/font nobr16 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1By Leilani Salter I f you were a fan of our bparenting/b Web site, mississippimoms.com, you#39;ve probably noticed that it has changed. It#39;s now momslikeme.com b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
table border=0 width= valign=top cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.examiner.com/x-1092-Carribbean-Travel-Examiner~y2008m10d6-Satisfy-your-soulcid=0ei=qOfrSKSbDqTe6AOE44nHBgusg=AFQjCNEn-Kk2mzkDK1RsFmNU6QDsCRpA0wimg src=http://news.google.com/news?imgefp=8s3arxSFr-IJimgurl=www.examiner.com/images/blog/wysiwyg/image/marley_resort(3).JPG width=80 height=75 alt= border=1brfont size=-2Examiner.com/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbrdiv style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1/divdiv class=lha href=http://www.citywebshopper.net/articles/includes/redirect.php?url=http://www.examiner.com/x-1092-Carribbean-Travel-Examiner~y2008m10d6-Satisfy-your-soulcid=0ei=qOfrSKSbDqTe6AOE44nHBgusg=AFQjCNEn-Kk2mzkDK1RsFmNU6QDsCRpA0wEarly Childhood bParenting/b Examiner/abrfont size=-1font color=#6f6f6fExaminer.comnbsp;-/font nobr10 hours ago/nobr/fontbrfont size=-1by Lea Ann Fessenden, Carribbean Travel Examiner Say what? A Marley Hotel and Spa in the Bahamas? Yes, it’s true. One would think if there was ever a resort b.../b/font/div/font/td/tr/table
parenting - Google News

Your Kids Career - Whose Choice?

A strange thing happened to me today. Or more precisely,... Read More

Guerilla Parenting Techniques: What Are They?

When you hear the phrase, 'guerrilla parenting techniques', what images... Read More

The Thing with Quality Time

It's funny how people seem to think that they have... Read More

Uses for Dirty Diapers

As the father of a toddler, I am an expert... Read More

Go Ahead - Make Dads Day

Throughout the year, many days of celebration are tucked capriciously... Read More

Character Education

Every parent wants their child to develop positive character traits.... Read More

Back to School Feng Shui

Every school year parents and students dutifully trudge through the... Read More

A Place For Everything: Its Childs Play

What parent hasn't gone into a son's or daughter's room... Read More

Andy Griffith Show Family Lessons

Although it might seem pretty corny to a lot of... Read More

Late Night Adventures with Your Children

Vacations are fun ! Weekends with the family are nice.... Read More

Build Character Now! Practical Tools for Busy Parents

"To educate a person in mind and not in morals... Read More

Shopping with Children

Is your weekly shopping trip with the kids an absolute... Read More

Kids: Channeling Mania Towards Productivity

More and more kids these days are diagnosed ADD, ADHD,... Read More

Managing Sibling Rivalry

It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward... Read More

How Do I Get My Child to Read?

Well first off, please to don't institute the ½ hour... Read More

Examining Drugs for ADHD, Particularly Strattera

In memory of 14 year old Matthew Smith; 11 year... Read More

Child Abuse - Survey & Comments

Beyond cases reported to authorities, little knowledge exists on the... Read More

Reading Activities Parents Can Use For Their Children

Using 14 "at" Flashcards To Teach Reading:This exercise helps your... Read More

Homeschool Socialization - Developing Your Homeschool Childs Social Skills

Everyone needs friends, and, as parents, you and I both... Read More

Should We Apologize To Our Children?

An apology is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes... Read More

How To Teach Your Children Love

I was in the life insurance sales industry for over... Read More

Say No to Mealtime Mayhem: Eating Out With Your Baby or Toddler

Many parenting books advise against eating out with young children.... Read More

School Issues: When Should an ADHD Child Be Held Back In School?

This can be a very complicated issue, so I don't... Read More

Responding to Criticism Without Being Defensive

In an actual war, to be attacked means to have... Read More

Scolding: One of Communications Tools of Last Resort

(Excerpted from Jim Rohn's 2004 Weekend Leadership Event)You have to... Read More